The Death Of A Friendship

Life Experience | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

Recently, I lost a friend of over 40 years. It was his choice to terminate our friendship.

We had known eachother since college. We reconnected on Facebook for many years, about 12, and rather suddenly tore into me for a variety of criticisms.

A little background on him: He recently lost his wife of 30+ years then promptly got covid. I offered my condolences and told him he could reach out for anything at all. Then, upon hearing nothing back, I left him be.

I noticed him corresponding more and more with a younger Facebook girl. No worries, not my business.

I wrote a simple little post about Jesus not returning anytime soon and this girl (I'll call her Amy) got into a big tirade with me and other people, expressing she hated religion, didn't believe in Christ, and called people who did a 'disease' and a 'pestilence'. I didn't much like that, unfriended her, and eventually blocked her. In the meantime, my old college friend expressed some of the same sentiments, even tually posting outright blasphemes. Told him I was none too fond of all that.

Well, he responds with all sorts of attacks.

I'm "too long-winded' and he never reads my political essays." Ok, fine.

I'm "occasionally funny but I try too hard." Actually, it's quite the opposite. I post what makes ME laugh. If you laugh, fine, if you don't, that wasn't my intent anyways.

I "think I'm so damned smart." I'm aware I'm slightly above average but there are plenty of people smarter than me.

I "slept with his college girlfriend Joyce." Um, no. Joyce was exceptionaly beautiful and I have always been average looking. Even if I had been inclined to try, she never would have even considered me.

All this was out of left field. No idea what provoked his attacks and his decision to terminate our friendship. I did find out that this Amy chick apparently was his go-to person in dealing with the grief of losing his wife. She apparently considers herself a Wiccan witch. Not healthy, but not my business.

So I am left with a friendship of over 40 years, destroyed. I have experienced some stages of grief over it. But I will (and I have to) accept it.

[Woodman]

I would enjoy meeting you some time. Not a friend yet, but I think it could happen over a few drinks or some time at the range :) that probably should be in reverse order though…

[caww]

He may just see his errors though, and if so you both can rebuild the friendship....if not then all I can say is I’ve been in your shoes...and that friendship never recovered - my choice.

I think with male female relationships I can easily side with your take on that note. Only it’s with men for me. If they screw up bigtime I’m done.

[Albion Wilde]

"Maybe there is a home Bible study...?"
Might be a fine solution.

This organization is so excellent: Community Blble Study (CBS). Changed my life.

CBS class locator

[alexander_busek]

Take the "L" and move on

Tried googling "L," but got too many hits.

Is it short for "lessons?"

Regards,

[alexander_busek]

A good movie but the sceenwriters sure took some liberties to make film last 3 hrs. Some things that are in the scriptural account were ignored. For one, Moses ran off before the Egyptians were on to his crime, and thus not captured. And another, Joshua didn’t come looking for Moses, Aaron did. I’ll stop there.

Next, you're gonna be telling me that Moses didn't have a passionate love-affair with Pharaoh's daughter!

But to be fair, it would have been really strange to see Yvonne DeCarlo and Charlton Heston circumcising their grown son against his will, and then rubbing Heston's feet with the bloody foreskin! Exodus 4:21-26

Regards,

[alexander_busek]

[...] or the extent to which it is standardized and disbursed dispersed through society in organized fashion to get on top of everyone [...]

Yes: One can't be too careful, can one?

Regards,

[BykrBayb]

Laz, I consider you my friend. And that brings me great joy.

[linMcHlp]

Maybe . . .

Your friend remains aware of something that you have (could be your charm and wit, plus, you are a thinker), that amounts to leverage with some people - girls in particular - an advantage perceived by your friend long ago. He has struggled with your advantage, since Joyce.

As fate has it, distance between you and your friend (and his current gal), is good for you.

[Lazamataz]

Thank you so much BB!

[AnonymousConservative]

I think disburse can be used as a synonym to being sort of distributed over an area by an authority, like disbursing troops? Or am I thinking of something else?

And you cannot be too careful. I’ve see the surveillance state up close. It is shocking, and goes far beyond just some FBI Agent trying to determine what some few individuals are allowed to say on twitter.

They have literally recreated the Stasi in American civilian life, right down to the guy who sits around all day listening to what the neighbors are saying. I would never have believed it possible had I not seen it.

[Lazamataz]

I’ll look into it.

[CaptainPhilFan]

Laz, to me it sounds like a simple case of Prince Harry Syndrome. This nasty @-hole Amy got her claws into him at a low moment and he’s attached to her and will defend that relationship no matter the cost. I’d feel bad for this guy for a very little bit, certainly pray for him to see the light and to get away from a broad who considers herself a witch. After that, brush the dust off your feet and move on.

We oughta have a FR Picnic this year, or a bunch of local ones on the same day :) We now have Video Call Technology - I don’t think we had that last time around :)

[catbus]

I had a friend from childhood who was diagnosed as bipolar in his late teens and later diagnosed with schizophrenia. He was always really argumentative and we had lots of fights over the years but I stuck by him.. we lost touch and regained it over the years. After I got married we mainly kept in contact by phone and he would keep throwing passive aggressive comments towards me and my wife which I just ignored. He would intersperse these with all sorts of horror stories about how terrible his life was, so I stayed in touch with him mostly out of pity. But after awhile he stopped being merely passive aggressive and started being flat out abusive to me and my wife, and as always continuing to bring up every bad memory I’ve ever had to try to drag me down into his misery pit. Finally after one unprovoked outburst from him over twitter I had enough and decided to completely cut ties with him after nearly 35 years. I’m down to like 2 friends now and it’s sad sometimes but I’m fine with it. I refuse to associate with anyone who wants to drag me down and if you’re friend was dragging you down it’s definitely for the best to cut ties.

[alexander_busek]

I think disburse can be used as a synonym to being sort of distributed over an area by an authority, like disbursing troops? Or am I thinking of something else?

To disburse is to pay out or to expend funds. Without exception the word relates to money. To disperse is to scatter or to cause to vanish. It is possible for money to be dispersed, but that’s usually a bad thing; money that is paid out or expended for a given purpose is disbursed.

- Grammarist

Regards,

[alexander_busek]

[...] could be your charm and wit, plus, you are a thinker [...]

We talkin' 'bout the same Lazamataz, here?!

(Heh-heh!)

Regards,

[ApplegateRanch]

>>You should have banged Joyce if you were going to get blamed for it anyway.<<

Hard to believe you didn’t “hit it”!

“Amy” certainly didn’t impress me in any positive way, before I blocked her. Wonder what ‘potions’ she’s been feeding him?

[snuffy smiff]

I got yer six, friend.

FWIW, I left my second wife shortly after she proclaimed herself to be a "Christian wiccan" and never looked back. I think I could almost tolerate atheism over that silly bullchit...

[awelliott]

Take the "L" and move on Tried googling "L," but got too many hits.

Is it short for "lessons?"

Regards,

Sorry, just seeing this. Actually it was intended to mean "Loss", but I think I like your rendition better.

Best,

[alexander_busek]

Sorry, just seeing this. Actually it was intended to mean "Loss", but I think I like your rendition better.

I can understand using multi-letter acronyms like "NASA" or "CIA," which have been in use for decades, and which can be googled - but single-letter acronyms?! That have, additionally, acquired currency only in the last few months?! That's "C!"

Well, I suppose you "L" something new every "D."

"R,"

[CFW]

“Well, I suppose you “L” something new every “D.””
______

I believe the phrase “Take the L” originated with sports jargon. As in W(wins) and L(losses). Coaches sometimes say “Take the Loss and move on” when speaking to motivate their players for the next game. People then shortened it to “Take the L”. It took me a while to figure it out as well.

And indeed, sometimes in all walks of life, it is best to “take the L” and move on.