Posted on 12/29/2022 7:41:34 PM PST by Vigilanteman
Sorry for the shameless vanity but some of you may be able to offer advice for my situation. God designed women to last longer than men, I think, because they are better at carrying on with life after loss of a spouse.
My loving wife of 38 years left me almost two months ago and I still have trouble going out by myself for more than short errands. She was a wonderful, sweet and very traditional lady. She was also a solid conservative who once told me she would never, ever vote for a Democrat even if they were better qualified. When I asked her why, she said because you tend to become like the type of people you choose to associate with . . . logic that even I could not argue with.
We served on our local election board together for nine years, raised three daughters (two of whom insisted Dad come and stay with them and their families immediately after the funeral), enjoyed many ups and downs in our marriage and both grew as a result.
She was full of affection and had a big heart. Everyone loved her because she reached out to so many people. She was kind even to those who didn't deserve it.
Most of the friends that I have is because of her. I'm introverted and shy by nature. She was even the one who led me to get married while I spent months dithering on whether or not I should move our relationship to the next level. For a solid two weeks after she died, I woke up numb and could do little but throw myself into my work as a way to ease the pain.
It is only because of my daughters, one of whom dropped her responsibilities of job and family to fly out to be with me, that I did not become a total basket case.
I have now accepted that she is with the Lord and there is a purpose for me to remain and tarry on this earth. While I am looking for that purpose, I am also counting the many blessings she brought to me. I know I need to be outgoing again and meet more people if, for nothing else, as a way to honor her legacy. But as I said, I am basically a shy guy by nature.
Your advice and wisdom would be appreciated.
My father died about 1-1/2 years ago. My mother goes to a group grief counselling session 2 days a week. She is a regular at church, and is surrounded by family. She still struggles daily, but we all are truly assured that my dad is in heaven.
1 day at a time. Get in a group with fellow widows and widowers, and pray.
Vigilanteman, I’m so sorry for your loss. Honestly, in time the pain still comes in waves. Learn to ride the waves. Whatever works, do it. Don’t judge yourself for working if that passes the time and numbs the pain. Being an introvert is fine. Learn to be comfortable with it - accept your Self. Pray.
Its the only surefire way I know I will get a message from you.
My goodness! You want to court messages from me? I’m flattered....I guess...
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