Posted on 12/08/2022 3:36:40 AM PST by Lazamataz
Space Clowns Invade Our Cupboards
Introduction
It's official: Space Clowns are here to stay. The latest in a long line of cupboard invasions was reported by Jack Barclay and his family. "We did not see them coming," he said. "One moment, I was putting dishes away, and the next, I was surrounded by Space Clowns." His wife Vanessa said it was a harrowing experience for her as well. She said that the family's cat startled her when she opened the cupboard door and screamed. "My poor ears," she said. "I think they are still ringing." Jack said that the family tried their best to get rid of the space clowns. He grabbed some pots and pans and started banging them together in an attempt to scare them off. Unfortunately, he only succeeded in scaring himself and making himself dizzy
Once again, Space Clowns have invaded our planet.
You should not be surprised that Space Clowns are once again invading the Earth. They are tall, green and very hostile foodies. They have many tricks up their sleeve including getting into the cupboards of unsuspecting Earthlings like Jack Barclay, who lives on the planet Earth with his family.
Jack Barclay and his family were not expecting this invasion
These green, tall and hostile foodies have many tricks up their sleeve.
You might not know it, but these green, tall and hostile foodies are invading your cupboards. We aren't talking about the ones you see in restaurants or at sushi bars—these guys live in your kitchen and they're not going anywhere any time soon. They've got many tricks up their sleeve to make sure that happens!
One of those tricks is to get into the cupboards of unsuspecting Earthlings.
If you've been paying attention, you know that the Space Clowns are not new to Earth. They've been invading our planet for a long time and have been up to no good.
The Space Clowns are very tall—much taller than us, in fact. They're also very green (and sometimes yellow). They have very big feet, which they use to stomp around with great force; they love to stomp on things like houses and cars. In fact, they love to stomp anything that gets in their way!
The Space Clowns are extremely mean and hostile—they hate humans because we don't like being stepped on by them! If your house has been destroyed by one of these creatures when he comes home from work at night, he might decide that it's easier just not go back out again tomorrow at all rather than try again with another victim's home or business establishment."
The latest in a long line of cupboard invasions was reported by Jack Barclay and his family.
The latest in a long line of cupboard invasions was reported by Jack Barclay and his family. They were surrounded by Space Clowns in their kitchen cupboards, which is not something you want to see after a long day at work.
The Barclays' story rings true with many others who have had similar encounters with the alien invaders, so it's no wonder that people are becoming increasingly worried about this invasion.
"We did not see them coming," he said. "One moment, I was putting dishes away, and the next, I was surrounded by Space Clowns."
You might have heard that Space Clowns have invaded our cupboards, but if you've been lucky enough to keep your distance from them and their evil ways, then this is not for you. For the rest of us - those who have been victimized by these creatures, those who are still fighting or running from them - there's a lot to be said about what we need to do next.
First things first: Space Clowns are real. They're green with tall heads and big eyes; they have enormous hands that they use to pick up things like pots and pans as well as humans (and other food items). If they see someone trying to escape their clutches, they will chase after them relentlessly until either the victim is captured or dies of starvation/exhaustion/pure terror in some other way. This has happened many times already across America!
His wife Vanessa said it was a harrowing experience for her as well.
But not everyone was so lucky. Vanessa, who had to deal with the clowns all over the house, told us that she was very scared for her family's safety during this period.
“I thought they would get in the cupboard where we keep our food, or into one of the other cupboards where we keep cleaning supplies or toys for our children," she said. "It was a really frightening experience."
She said that the family's cat startled her when she opened the cupboard door and screamed.
Vanessa said that the family's cat was startled by the space clowns and screamed. "It was extremely loud," she says.
Vanessa had just opened a cupboard door, and when she saw a group of space clowns inside it, her ears started ringing. The sound of the cat's scream made Vanessa jump and close the cupboard door again.
"My poor ears," she said. "I think they are still ringing."
Vanessa sat at the kitchen table, clutching her head, wondering if she would ever hear anything again. The noise that had been made by the clowns was so loud that it had felt like a physical thing in her body—a giant bubble of sound that swelled up in her ears and burst out through her mouth in a long wail of terror. She couldn't help but think of all those horror movies where people get their heads exploded by psychic energy or alien invaders. Vanessa wondered if this was how it felt for them: their brains exploding into flowers that covered everything with pink petals.
Vanessa stared at the microwave and tried to focus on something else besides finding herself in such a terrifying situation. Her eyes were closed tight as she thought about what might happen next: Would these clowns attack again? If so, how could they stop them? Should they try fighting back somehow? And then Vanessa remembered what happened when she touched one's arm—the way it shriveled up like a dead leaf dropped into boiling water! Was there some sort of chemical weapon inside these things' bodies that would weaken or kill us humans upon contact?
Jack said that the family tried their best to get rid of the space clowns.
Jack said that the family tried their best to get rid of the space clowns. They had one or two space clowns a day for about five weeks. They tried everything, including:
Scaring them off with pots and pans
Putting honey on them (which was supposed to be poisonous for space clowns)
He grabbed some pots and pans and started banging them together in an attempt to scare them off.
If you find yourself in this situation, don't panic. Space clowns are generally friendly creatures that only want to play. Although they're similar to other types of clowns and may seem scary at first, it's important to remember that space clowns are not inherently evil or malevolent—they just want to be friends!
Last week my friend was at home alone when he heard some strange noises coming from his kitchen cabinets. He grabbed some pots and pans and started banging them together in an attempt to scare them off. This strategy did not work because the space clowns were simply too strong for him; instead of being frightened by all the noise, they merely laughed at him more loudly than before!
Luckily for us humans there is another way we can get rid of these pesky little creatures: sweep them away with your broom! Though this method is effective against earthbound insects such as spiders or cockroaches (or even sea critters like snails), it won't work on a being who comes from another planet entirely—you'll need something stronger than just plain old bristles such as wooden sticks or steel wires attached together tightly enough so as not allow any gaps between individual strands where air could escape through openings between strands."
Unfortunately, he only succeeded in scaring himself and making himself dizzy.
If you’re finding these little guys in your kitchen, it may be time to take action. You can try smearing honey on the floor (or perhaps some glue) and watching them get stuck. This will scare them off for a few days, but unfortunately it doesn’t really solve your problem.
You could try calling the police, but you probably won’t get much help from them since people are rarely abducted by clowns anymore. Also, there aren’t many police officers available because most of them were sent over seas during World War II or to fight against trolls under bridges in Europe (no one knows exactly why).
You can also call an exterminator to come over with their chemicals and traps and poison everything that moves within 100 feet of your house—but they weren't too happy about getting called out last year when someone found spiders living in their basement wall insulation so this might not be the best idea either
Vanessa tried smearing honey on the floor to slow down their movement, but they just ignored her efforts and kept advancing toward her.
Vanessa tried smearing honey on the floor to slow down their movement, but they just ignored her efforts and kept advancing toward her.
“Honey is sticky!” she thought to herself. “They'll have trouble walking through it!”
She was wrong. Little did she know that space clowns love honey as much as they love you and me, and will simply walk right over a puddle of it without so much as a pause or stumble—a fact I learned after speaking with one of the researchers who first encountered them in the field, Dr. Robert Gagno: “It's a fascinating phenomenon," he said when I asked him why space clowns don't mind getting caught up in piles of gooey sweetness. "A lot more research has gone into this than anyone would have imagined."
Space Clowns will continue to invade our planet until we come up with a solution to stop them
Space Clowns are a menace to our planet. They are a threat to our way of life, they are a threat to our children and pets, they threaten the food supply we rely on for survival and they present an economic burden on our economy that is unsustainable. As the Space Clowns continue their invasion of Earth, it will become more difficult for us humans to survive on this planet unless we come up with a solution.
Conclusion
We need to be vigilant in protecting ourselves from space clowns.
This was created by artificial intelligence after I gave it some keywords.
Something weird and fun
If you read the article closely, you will learn that Space Clowns are NOT poisoned by honey, but instead can walk across a pool of it and not get stuck.
I turn around for a sip of Tang.....
Well, then, we must embrace them and their sticky goodness.
" The noise that had been made by the clowns was so loud that it had felt like a physical thing in her body—a giant bubble of sound that swelled up in her ears and burst out through her mouth in a long wail of terror. She couldn't help but think of all those horror movies where people get their heads exploded by psychic energy or alien invaders. Vanessa wondered if this was how it felt for them: their brains exploding into flowers that covered everything with pink petals."
“This was created by artificial intelligence after I gave it some keywords.”
Which proves AI is a hallucinating matrix hologram of the quantum universe contained in human toe cheese.
It actually reads like it could have come from Vonnegut’s Welcome to the Monkey House.
Thanks for clarifying. I was worried about you dude.
All clowns are creepy perverts.
Death to Space Clowns!
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No, you should still worry.
“Killer Klowns from Outer Space”
Aliens who look like clowns come from outer space and terrorize a small town.
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0095444/?ref_=nv_sr_srsg_0
What program did you use? I have to write an article for NPR.
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