Posted on 11/28/2022 1:13:51 PM PST by sodpoodle
Funny Quotes About Aging "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter." - Mark Twain
"You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake." - Bob Hope
"Children are a great comfort in your old age, and they help you reach it faster, too." - Lionel Kauffman
"The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good spit it out." - Anonymous
"Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened." - Jennifer Yane
"Nice to be here? At my age it's nice to be anywhere." - George Burns
"Old age comes at a bad time." - San Banducci
Aging Quotes That Will Have You Gasping For Air "As you get older, the pickings get slimmer, but the people don't." - Carrie Fisher
"I think age is a very high price to pay for maturity." - Tom Stoppard
"You know you're getting old when everything hurt. And what doesn't hurt doesn't work." - Hy Gardner
"Respect old people. They graduated school without Google or Wikipedia." - Unknown
"Youth is wasted on the young." - George Bernard Shaw
"If Shaw and Einstein couldn't beat death, what chance have I got? Practically none." - Mel Brooks
"Getting older is no problem. You just have to live long enough." - Groucho Marx
These Aging Quotes Will Have You Laughing For Days "I stay away from natural foods. At my age, I need all the preservatives I can get." - George Burns
"Middle age: Later than you think and sooner than you expect." - Earl Wilson
"We are young only once, after that we need some other excuse." - Anonymous
"I'm like old wine. They don't bring me out very often, but I'm well preserved." - Rose Kennedy
"Youth is when you're allowed to stay up late on New Year's Eve. Middle age is when you're forced to." - Bill Vaughan
"Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you." - Ogden Nash
QUOTES FUNNY AGING
I knew a woman who was 96 at the time, lived to be 99.
She said, “ You know you are getting old when Christmas comes every other week.”
I’ll never forget that one
Like so many witticisms ascribed to Twain, he never said that first one.
The problem is - we have a limited number of brain cells and when you have used them up - you are done;)
Met a 90 year old spry woman at a health fair.
Asked her what her secret was.
She said, “Don’t let them start doing tests on you, once they start doing tests, you’re done for.”
‘Getting Old is Not for Cowards.’
Probably wasn’t original, but, from my grandfather;
“So soon I grow old, so late I grow smart”
“Getting Old is Not for Cowards.:
Billy Graham wrote a book called “Nearing Home” where he says essentially the same thing in the very 1st chapter.
Something like “if your gonna be old you better be tough.”
And s I can attest, as usual.....he was of course telling the truth.
“you know your getting old when you wake up from a nap and realize you’ve pulled a muscle”
__Dana Carvey
“If it’s still sore in 3 months, it’s probably permanent”-—me
I don’t know how to act my age, I’ve never been this old before!
:{D>
Can’t find the source, but -
Old is when your kids plan your Eldercare, right in front of you.
Me too. You can’t be one of those Twitter snowflakes when you hit 55.
“They say your memory is the second thing to go. I can’t remember what the fist thing is.”
“Getting old sucks, but it beats the alternative.”
I had an elderly neighbor who outlived several husbands. She said, “NEVER let them put you in a wheel chair.”
You’re only as old as the woman you feel...
Groucho
When you volunteer teaching kids in church, say things like "when you're older and have gray in your beard like me" and a kid innocently but correctly says that your beard isn't gray -- it's white.
If you remember Auburn's national championship before the 2010 one. (Iron Bowl was just a couple of days ago, so I had to throw that one in. LOL)
Bookmark
When your brain’s HD fills-up, just offload the data and take some Prevagen.
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