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Jesus Accused Of Being A Christian Nationalist After Saying He's Going To Establish His Kingdom Over The Whole Earth
Babylon Bee ^ | November 18, 2022 | Staff

Posted on 11/19/2022 11:42:45 AM PST by Twotone

JERUSALEM — A local rabbi named Jesus has been accused of being a dangerous Christian Nationalist after saying that soon he will establish his kingdom over the whole earth.

"This Jesus guy is clearly an enemy of our Liberal World Order," said Sadducee Yavid Faranch during a weekly address at the synagogue. "One of his disciples even claims Jesus will 'rule the nations with a rod of iron!' You can't get more fascist than that. Disgusting."

The young rabbi's words come on the heels of several other inflammatory and disturbing statements which have led local leadership to see him as an existential threat to democracy. Such statements include commanding his followers to "drink my blood and eat my flesh" and an ominous threat to destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days all by himself.

"Frankly he sounds unhinged," said Faranch. "No one has the right to subvert the will of the people and rule them according to his own narrow views. There's no telling what he might do if we don't stop him."

At publishing time, Jesus had found himself in more hot water after claiming he wasn't there to "bring peace, but a sword."


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; jesus

1 posted on 11/19/2022 11:42:45 AM PST by Twotone
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To: Twotone

Klaus Schwab turns to Jesus to enact his one world government.


2 posted on 11/19/2022 11:46:42 AM PST by Erik Latranyi (We are being manipulated by forces that most do not see)
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To: Twotone

Technically that’d be Christian globalist.


3 posted on 11/19/2022 11:47:51 AM PST by Skywise
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To: Twotone

LOL.

5.56mm


4 posted on 11/19/2022 11:57:21 AM PST by M Kehoe (Quid Pro Joe and the Ho got to go)
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To: Twotone
First they invent elements and situations, then they invent language along beside them and finally all thought processes, formally digested with and by a common language determining a common result, now altered to and by an altered language defining an altered perception.

I'm sure there's a word to describe this . . . I just don't know it

5 posted on 11/19/2022 12:09:55 PM PST by knarf (I say things that are true . . . I have no proof, but they're true.)
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To: Twotone

Yeah, by the same people as before.


6 posted on 11/19/2022 12:31:06 PM PST by cowboyusa (America Cowboy up! )
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To: Twotone

The Babylon Bee has struck a real nerve here.

To the dismay of Roman Catholic and Protestant Amillennialists (including preterists who are also Amill), who believe Christ is presently ruling the world - this BEFORE his 2nd coming, Christ said, “my kingdom is not of this world,” John 18:36.

Then there is the NAR Charismatics, who have a combo eschatology of Preterism with Postmillennialism, who believe they are to infiltrate the power centers of this world, and take it over, again, BEFORE the 2nd coming of Christ.

Their doctrine puts them in competition with Klaus Schwab and the WEF, it appears.

Premillennialism, which believes Christ’s 2nd coming is BEFORE the thousand years reign of Christ on this earth, as described in Rev. 19, 20, is the historic view, as it is the view held by the church of the early centuries AD.


7 posted on 11/19/2022 1:08:12 PM PST by sasportas
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To: Erik Latranyi

Who would have guessed it?

Jesus is the Elon Musk of Christianity!


8 posted on 11/19/2022 1:29:04 PM PST by ConservativeWebServant (Truth is true, even if you don't believe it...)
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To: Twotone

Wouldn’t that be an internationalist?


9 posted on 11/19/2022 4:59:11 PM PST by ealgeone
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