Posted on 10/20/2022 2:54:23 PM PDT by nickcarraway
The "In The Loop" series Love Life digs into how Americans are dealing with the changing landscape of modern dating. Nearly half of U.S. adults, and a majority of women, say that dating has become harder in the last 10 years or so in the U.S., according to the Pew Research Center.
Anna Brown, a researcher who has written extensively about American experiences with dating and related issues for the Pew Research Center, gave Newsy some insight on the statistics.
"Men were more likely to say things like they had trouble approaching people, whereas women were more likely to give reasons, like it was just hard to find someone who was looking for the same type of relationship that they were or it was hard to find someone with kind of common interests," Brown said.
The most cited reasons behind the dating troubles included the challenge of finding someone who is looking for the same type of relationship: Whether it's casual romance or a serious courtship, 53% said this is a major reason. Other reasons included difficulty in approaching people at 46% and trouble finding someone who meets their expectations at 43%.
Those findings were based on data from 2019, and Brown's further research shows things seem to have only gotten worse during the pandemic.
While dating as a whole was regarded as hard by both single men and women, dating has been riskier for women in particular. Most women who identified as single and looking to date — 65% — said they experienced some form of harassment from their dates, such as being touched in a way that made them uncomfortable or rumors being spread about their sexual history.
Awareness surrounding these forms of harassment were heightened thanks to campaigns like the #MeToo movement, but 65% of Americans said that increased focus on sexual harassment and assault has made it harder for men to know how to interact with someone they're on a date with, begging the age-old question: Is chivalry dead?
"Women were far more likely than men to say that it's gotten harder because of risk, so that can be physical risk or emotional risk," Brown said. "Many people said that technology is the reason it's gotten harder. For online dating in particular, people tend to experience more severe forms of harassment."
Over the past decade, dating was already becoming more complicated in an increasingly digital America and the unique challenges that came with the rise of social media and dating apps. But singles have never been put to the test quite like they were during the pandemic.
Many popular dating apps reported a drop in the number of people actively dating, and those who did continue to date took things slower. Dating app data shows many used video calls and text messaging to get to know their match before meeting up.
Factors like a person's willingness to social distance and their COVID-19 vaccination status became a more prominent consideration for many looking for a potential partner, whether it was for the short term or the long run. As the pandemic's public health measures were politicized, it also trickled into dating, which was becoming more political in a post-Trump environment.
"We found that about half of people who have online dated in the last year say that it's been important to them to see someone's political beliefs on their online dating profile, and that is up considerably since 2019," Brown said. "We also found that most of that change was being driven by Democrats, and Democrats are more likely than Republicans to say that it's important to them to see that kind of information on someone's profile."
RELATED STORY Reality Shows Are Getting More Real When It Comes To DatingReality Shows Are Getting More Real When It Comes To Dating As pandemic restrictions eased and much of the country received their vaccines, dating began picking up again. Many predicted 2021 would bring a lot of summer romance, with people across the nation trying to make up for lost time.
While that was certainly true for couples, with many ushering in a wedding boom after a year of putting off weddings, that rush of singles people expected to see was closer to a trickle.
After a lonely year of social distancing, many singles who were looking to date reported a desire to do so more purposefully, taking their time to pick partners. This trend was especially true for single Americans under 30, who don't want to risk taking a potentially meaningful connections for granted.
Some of these efforts took on new forms for the singles, with many swearing off dating apps and trying to meet people through friends or organically while out and about.
But others are going even further in their mission to find love, like with the live dating show called "UpDating." It aims to mix comedy with a vulnerable, yet very public search for love. The show is followed by thousands on TikTok, with some videos gaining more than a million likes.
I used to work in a conveniene store full-time.
On Fri and Sat nights, clubbing women would come into my store and talk in front of me as if I wasn’t there while they were making their purchases.
Believe me when I say this, no half-decent man would have the type of conversation that these women had. They were forthright in talking about which men were well-endowed and which mean weren’t as well as rating the skills that each men possessed and everything.
Your brothers, I can almost guarantee you, were choir boys in comparison to the women who were coming into my store and the coversations they had.
Maybe the older women showed discretion amongst themselves, but the younger ones don’t.
I didn't overhear my brothers talk that way only their friends.
“What’s your sign?”
$$$$$$$$$$$$$!
Unless the man is a porn actor, he’s going to be a choir boy in his conversations in comparison with what I heard. Even your brother’s friends.
It’s gross and sad that, for the sake of sexual pleasure, men and woman are making themselves unsuitable as mates.
If you are in the top 10%, then you are a high value male.
But if you are the remaining 90%, even if you are married, your wife thinks she can do better than you because you are not a high value male.
In other words, 80% of the women think they can end up with a Prince Harry.
That's not realistic. But they don't know that.
That shows how dumb these particular women are. Plumbers and other tradesmen can provide very good incomes without the burden of college debt.
It’s a form of self abuse. There is a book with instructions that tends to be disregarded these days.
Before the internet, Clemenza could not get a woman even if he paid. After the internet, the babes just came. Some of us do better with the web than the bar scene if one is sociophobic. ;)
trouble finding someone who meets their expectations at 43%.
“ I don’t take the position that a woman will turn on you, if you are treating them well”
They will if they stop taking their meds.
lol...like it
The laundry list is for men who don't excite them. If a guy comes along who she regards as "hot", the list goes out the window.
Unfortunately for her, the hot guy has other women competing for him, so he will stay with her for as long as she stays focused on pleasing him, then move on. For the top 1-5% of men, there ARE "many fish in the sea".
Some of the highly desirable men try to date highly desirable women. Others see dating a succession of second tier women who will make an effort to please him is a better strategy.
I heartily agree with you
Not true. There is no list for guys who dont excite them. These guys ars the 80% of men not even visible to them. The women with the huge lists are not settling for these guys, if they dont have whats on the list, they aren’t even considered.
This is why these women who “know their worth” and therefore “refuse to settle” wind up alone with cats. If they can’t have what they feel entitled to, they would rather stay alone with cats than lower their standards and compromise.
Only men must be the ones that compromise.
Bitter much? Rash generalizations aren’t taken seriously... FWIW
” think women knew how to engage with cat-callers back then “
We did. We smiled, waved, and walked on by. It was flattering.
Yours is the typical insult shame response. Lol.
A distinct possibility. If a kid insists “I can do it by myself!”, sometimes a father will let him fail. Then the kid realizes he needs to trust his father.
I’ve told my boys on a few occasions how to handle something, but let them make the decisions. They quickly found out I knew what I was doing. God treats us the same way sometimes.
My wife and I have been married for over 40.5 years and just celebrated the 44th anniversary of the day we met. I'll be in my office when she will start ranting about how women complain of harassment for little things that were never, and should never, be considered as harassment. Even our 34 year old daughter cannot fathom how these complaints happen.
I think much of this is feminism teaching them to be psychologically dominant in a relationship, which is why men stay away from them.
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