[sodpoodle]

He's right!

God Bless

[bk1000]

Lol!

[Jewbacca]

I know Morris. He’s an old widower.

I remember one day he went to that Roman Catholic Church out by the Kotel.

He marched right through the church to the confessional, sat down, and started talking to the priest. “Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. I’ve been having wild sex with a 22 year old girl from New York City. She’s beautiful, a model for Estee Lauder and Victoria Secret. We just hit it off. Not sure how it happened. Just constant sex. I didn’t even go to synagogue this Shabbos . . “

The priest interrupted Morris. “Synagogues?! Shabbos? Are you Jewish? Why are you telling me?”

“Oh,” answered Morris. “I’m telling everyone!”

[The Antiyuppie]

+1.

[sodpoodle]

One day her teacher, a nun, called on Carol while she was sleeping in class.

“Tell me, Carol, who created the universe?”

When Carol didn’t stir, little Johnny, who was her friend sitting behind her,

took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.

“God Almighty!” shouted Carol.

The nun said, “Very good,” and continued teaching her class.

A little later the nun asked Carol, “Who is our Lord and Savior?”

But Carol didn’t stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came

to her rescue and stuck her in the butt.

“Jesus Christ !!!” shouted Carol.

And the nun once again said, ‘Very good,’ and Carol fell back asleep.

The nun asked her a third question....”What did Eve say to Adam

after she had her twenty-third child?”

Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Carol jumped up and shouted,

“If you stick that thing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!”

The nun fainted.

.

[telescope115]

😀 I shoulda seen that coming!😀
THAT made my first smile for the day!
Thanks!

[drSteve78]

Thanks for a good start to the day.

[stylin19a]

A teacher asks the kids in her 3rd grade class:
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Little Johnny says:
I wanna start out as a Fighter Pilot, then be a billionaire, go to the most expensive clubs, find me the finest whore, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Copacabana, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel throughout Europe, an Infinite Visa Card, and all the while banging her like a loose screen door in a hurricane.”
The teacher, shocked and not knowing what to do with this horrible response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and simply tries to continue with the lesson.

And how about you, Sarah?
I wanna be Johnny's whore

[SJackson]

Middle East and terrorism, occasional political and Jewish issues Ping List. High Volume If you’d like to be on or off, please FR mail me.

[Spok]

I visited the Western Wall and felt extremely awkward. I was embarrassed to intrude on something I could tell was sacred. There many foreigners there, taking selfies and acting like tourists. I apologized to an old Orthodox Jew and told him I was embarrassed for their behavior. He blessed me.

[gitmo]

Prayer sometimes feels like you’re talking to a wall.

[BTerclinger]

Two Jews are lined up in front of a Nazi firing squad.
The SS Captain looks at them and barks,
“Any last words, Juden?!”

The first Jew spits at the Captain
and shouts, “F*CK HITLER!”

The second Jew whimpers,
“shhhh, you’ll make them angry…”