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Running Short On Funds For A July 4th Barbecue, Man Opens The Family Safe To Retrieve The 16 Cents He Saved Last Year
The Babylon Bee ^ | JUL 1, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/03/2022 9:18:06 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum

FLATWOODS, KY — According to sources, local man Dave Smithers was struggling to afford food for his July 4th barbecue due to food prices being up over 3272% this season. His luck changed, however, when he realized he still had the 16 cents President Biden helped him save on his barbecue last year.

"Thank you, Biden! You're a lifesaver!" said Smithers as he ran to the family safe and carefully removed the 1 dime, 1 nickel, and 1 penny he had stashed away last year for occasions like this. "July 4th is saved! Hallelujah! Build back better!"

Other families haven't been so lucky. Smithers' neighbors recently spent their 16 cents to buy 0.0091 gallons of gas. Several more families in the neighborhood invested their 16 cents in Bitcoin and their investment is now worth 8 cents.

Smithers plans to use his 16-cent bounty to help his neighbors and invite them to all share one hotdog this July 4th.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 07/03/2022 9:18:06 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

2 posted on 07/03/2022 9:36:28 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (Wanting to make America great isn’t an insult unless you’re trying to make it worse! ULTRAMAGA!!)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Skewered!


3 posted on 07/03/2022 9:37:12 AM PDT by skr (May God confound the enemy)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I invested my 16 cents in mutual funds. Now a year later I have about 10 cents that will buy me less gas for my car than a nickel would have last year.


4 posted on 07/03/2022 9:37:17 AM PDT by Wissa (The winds and waves are always on the side of the ablest navigators.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I wish I could laugh but I cannot. I am very angry. My family is having to severely adjust their budget to cut back because our property taxes are going up significantly. The cost of insurance is more. We spent a lot on gas when it was 2.50 a gallon and now its 5.00 a gallon. The costs of food have risen significantly. Everything is costing more and my income is not growing.

We are cutting back on a lot of things and I am bitter because I know that our attempt to save where we can means other businesses will hurt more.

It’s a downward spiral. I don’t know how/why anyone would listen to (much less believe) anything they see in the media.

With the amount of public and consumer debt our nation has today we are in a far more dangerous situation than we were in the Carter era.


5 posted on 07/03/2022 9:54:35 AM PDT by volunbeer (Find the truth and accept it - anything else is delusional)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Yeah, that story aged as well as a dead fish in the noonday sun. IIRC to make it work at all they had people barbecuing pork chops anyway. Still, no mean tweets. Except the ones Dementia Joe makes.


6 posted on 07/03/2022 10:02:14 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Dave Smithers is sure lucky we have such a kind and benevolent President such as Joe Biden.
And now for the second Independence Day in a row, we don’t have those mean tweets coming from the White House.
I almost cheered out of pure joy when I filled up the Dodge Friday. !9 gallons only cost $90.00 instead of the $39.00 in 2020.
In fact to celebrate tomorrow, I think I will splurge and grill a hamburger. Then invite the neighbors to share it.


7 posted on 07/03/2022 10:03:10 AM PDT by Tupelo (Don't underestimate The Republican Party's ability to f*ck things up)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum


8 posted on 07/03/2022 10:27:10 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Oh how I love the Bee


9 posted on 07/03/2022 10:29:48 AM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
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To: volunbeer
two things...my whole retirement is my 401k, invested 50/50 in the stock market/bonds....ed jones guy assures me that my stocks are almost all defensive stocks,meaning its things people need to buy....

second thing is our property tax...up hugely.....and going up more..this is our forever homestead with garden, shop, shed, smoke shop and a built in meat shop with walkin cooler....this is a place one leaves to their children, if they want to live here....

yes, I am angry....

10 posted on 07/03/2022 10:44:00 AM PDT by cherry (;)
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To: cherry

yes, I am angry....


I understand. It’s past time that “we the people” rein in our government that is entirely out of control.

Most of our current predicament has been caused by those we elect (from both parties). For decades we have mostly had two choices in elections - Progressive big spenders and progressive big spenders lite.

I wish people would wake up to reality, but we cannot because we are bombarded with lies from media, academia, and elsewhere.


11 posted on 07/03/2022 11:55:15 AM PDT by volunbeer (Find the truth and accept it - anything else is delusional)
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