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The Culture of the Single Millennial - Why are so many Millennials unmarried?
https://lifeandtimes.substack.com ^ | Sep 5, 2021 | Staff Writer

Posted on 06/09/2022 10:17:39 PM PDT by Jonty30

Why does the Millennial generation (people born between 1982-1996) have lower marriage and birth rates than previous generations? And when Millennials do get married, why is it at a later age than previous generations? Prominent periodicals like The Atlantic, Time, Washington Post and others have published articles trying to explain the phenomenon.

Some claim that the cause is economic – we graduated from college into the 2008 Recession, we have a lot of student loan debt, and we receive stagnant wages as housing prices soar. Financial difficulty prevents young people from getting married. This is of course part of the problem, but it is wrong. People got married at a higher per capita rate during the Great Depression and the brutal wars in history, which were much tougher than anything we endured.

Some argue that the cause is increased education, feminism and careerism. People want to focus on establishing a stable career in their youth, including women in equal if not greater numbers than men, which makes them delay family formation. This is also a partial explanation. There is no reason a person cannot pursue education and career while married. If the issue is about focus, we would argue that living “the single life” is even more of a distraction from schoolwork. Even if we concede the argument about focus, it still does not explain the large number of Millennials who are now in their late 30s, well-established in their careers, but still remain unmarried.

(Excerpt) Read more at lifeandtimes.substack.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; History; Society
KEYWORDS: 2muchheadache; culture; dating; freesex; gaming; marriage; men; mgtow; millennials; partylife; porn; pua; redpill; society; whybother; women
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To: Jonty30
However, the man, of which 80% don't get their fill of the single life because that's only reserved for the top 20% of men to get their single life fill of sex either make themselves absent because they are convinced that they have nothing to offer a woman or they are finally coming into their own and still want their fill before they settle down.

Nice run-on sentence there, Jonty30!

But I agree whole-heartedly with your explanation!

One additional argument that I've never seen cited elsewhere - so I'm guessing that I'm the first to make this observation - is that young people are subconsciously aware of the following important factors:

1. Life expectancies are significantly greater than in their grandparents' generation - meaning that people will have to live with the consequences of their actions for a much longer time than their ancestors did.

2. Life, itself, is significantly more "dynamic." More precisely, typical biographies (incl. careers and divorces) are now far more "diverse" and "unpredictable" than in the 1950s and 60s, thus making planning much more difficult. Technological change is more apparent.

3. Although "life" is becoming simultaneously "longer" but also "more dynamic" (meaning: the total amount of "change" / "stress" one experiences in the course of a lifetime is far greater than in the past), the cycle of generations is slowing. Specifically: Children (a "burden") tend to remain children for longer. Grandkids (a "reward" / the "pay-off") thus show up much later in life. Thus, in the 1950s, typical parents could expect to "be shed" of the responsibility of raising a child in about 18 or 19 years. Today, that's more like 25-27 years. (And some 30-year-olds might even return home to live in the basement.) Child-bearing is thus viewed as more "onerous." And the pleasure of having grandkids is too distant.

Regards,

21 posted on 06/09/2022 11:24:32 PM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: grey_whiskers
That's gold, grey-whiskers! Pure gold!

(I've seen these graphic images elsewhere, and the explanations you proffer are not at all new to me, but it is certainly gratifying to see them gradually disseminating throughout society!)

Regards,

22 posted on 06/09/2022 11:26:59 PM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: Angelino97
If a man isn't Alpha in his 20s, he won't be Alpha in his 30s. So he won't be living any "single life" even then. He might have more money. So he'll be a rich Beta. But still only a Beta.

Maybe I was an outlier, but in my 20s, I was a Beta.

6'4", 220 lbs. College-educated. Overly-long academic career, but financially VERY upwardly mobile.

But awkward, shy, "too serious." Didn't understand the "party scene." When I WAS in a relationship: Suffered from "one-itis." I.e., was overly-fixated on maintaining that one LTR at ALL costs.

2-3 LTRs punctuated by years of celibacy.

My 30s: Upward curve.

First-time engagement and marriage at 38 (to a 22-y-o).

Now, 24 years later... Still happily married, 2 kids. Retirement.

So was I bashful "Chad," or a Beta all along, or what?

"Alpha," "Chad," "predator" - all used interchangeably - but that's a mistake.

Regards,

23 posted on 06/09/2022 11:47:18 PM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: max americana
"...unless she financially kills you hence, poorer."

"Daddy said, 'Son, you better see the world.
I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to leave.
But remember one thing, don't lose your head
To a woman who'll spend your bread'"
-- Rod Stewart

"There's nothing wrong with being incompatible, as long as he's got the income and she's pattable" -- Ogden Nash

In the mid-to-late 90's a Denver TV station put together an extended Human Interest Story on a Denver-area Boomer who was pushing 40 and getting no closer to his lifelong dream of establishing a family like the one he grew up in .... namely, a Dad whose job supports the family, and a Mom who stays home fulltime while the kids are young, moving to parttime work only after the last kid is in school, and ramping up after that.

His problem was that he couldn't find a woman who shared that dream. They had all been brought up with the feminist ideal of Having Your Cake & Eating it Too - continuing on with their high-powered rewarding career while simultaneously enjoying motherhood, (Hey, what are cheap nannies for, anyway?)

Every woman he dated turned out the same when it came to the point of discussing a future together, and so he broke off and then found another one he hoped would work out. (He must have done the breakups gently, as these ex-girlfriends were still good friends of his).

Finally giving up on this endless cycle, he looked into a "Ukranian Brides" matchmaking business with a Denver office that made VHS tapes of both the American men and the Ukranian women talking about themselves and their dreams, leading to letters, then phone calls, and finally if it got that far - to the man flying out to meet the woman and proposing if they still both liked what they saw. An interpreter assisted in all these phases.

The TV crew joined the story when the man approached the matchmaking service, and followed him out to Ukraine for the in-person meeting and the marriage proposal.

The wedding reception is the part I remember the best. The photojournalist was recording a number of the groom's ex-girlfriends who were sitting at the same table. They were saying things to each other like, "Why couldn't he have married one of us? What's wrong with us?"

They still didn't get it. That moment seemed especially poignant.

24 posted on 06/09/2022 11:47:24 PM PDT by CardCarryingMember.VastRightWC (Unity? Of course! I pledge to respect your President as much as you respected mine the past 4 years.)
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To: SauronOfMordor

I pulled the ripcord at 42. Married my girlfriend who was only 5 years younger than me. I was only ever gonna get married once and I had no desire to get divorced. We’re stuck with each other and our two beautiful kids.


25 posted on 06/09/2022 11:52:28 PM PDT by HYPOCRACY (This is the dystopian future we've been waiting for!)
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To: grey_whiskers
That graphic was somewhat true in the 80s/90s. I’d say, sadly and with repentance in mind, EVERYone got at least a few lines between them. The alphas and sluts had a lot more than others. And one of the lines would become a marriage.

Today? The article attests that it’s accurate shown. But where are the dozen other columns of genders?
26 posted on 06/09/2022 11:52:45 PM PDT by ReaganGeneration2
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To: alexander_busek
At 6'4" you had far more Alpha potential than most. As any quick perusal of an online dating site will confirm, every woman wants a tall man. It's at the top of her list of wants.

Sure, not every tall man is Alpha. But almost every tall man is "Alpha timber." (I just coined a new term, derived from the term "Presidential timber.")

So yeah, you're an outlier. Your gap from Beta to Alpha was always narrower than for most Betas.

27 posted on 06/10/2022 12:02:32 AM PDT by Angelino97
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To: Jonty30

It’s one of the many consequences when a society devolves from a high trust to a no trust society. Think of it as 1984 in action.


28 posted on 06/10/2022 12:05:03 AM PDT by Noumenon (Black American flag time. KTF)
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To: Jonty30

Boxed wine and cats, baby!


29 posted on 06/10/2022 12:10:11 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Bus No. 2525)
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To: Angelino97
"... every woman wants a tall man. It's at the top of her list of wants"

Sure wish I'd kept this greeting card I saw in the 80s. On the cover is a cartoon of a very short man dancing closely to a very tall woman. They both look enraptured.

The caption on the outside says, "You're just my type ..."

Inside the card it says, "... single and breathing".

30 posted on 06/10/2022 12:15:17 AM PDT by CardCarryingMember.VastRightWC (Unity? Of course! I pledge to respect your President as much as you respected mine the past 4 years.)
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To: metmom

They were all raised on plastics. Plastics contain chemicals that mimic estrogens in the body. Even when they were in the womb, the women themselves were using plastics, so they were soy boy’d from the get.

Now, they could lift weights and take T supplements to help out, but they were handicapped from the beginning, before they had a choice.


31 posted on 06/10/2022 12:24:11 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Bus No. 2525)
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To: Jonty30

Among my sons friends…all but one had divorced parents. They came from broken homes and thus marriage to their young minds was nothing but pain, fighting, cheating, brokenness.

Although it may be very unpopular on this forum…it takes TWO people to make a successful marriage. Aside from love of course, the next vital component to a happy marriage is respect. Nobody on the face of the earth is more deserving of your respect than your spouse.

The funny thing is quite a few of my son’s friends are happily married with kids. They are in their early 30’s. Many credit our marriage with showing them that wedded bliss is indeed a possibility. So sometimes, it’s just not your kids who are watching what you do.


32 posted on 06/10/2022 12:36:48 AM PDT by karatemom (My son is a good man because his father is a good man. )
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To: CardCarryingMember.VastRightWC
Inside the card it says, "... single and breathing".

That woman has reached the "Epiphany Phase."

I.e., she's 30+.

Regards,

33 posted on 06/10/2022 12:41:05 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: Noumenon

Unfortunately, makes sense.


34 posted on 06/10/2022 12:58:09 AM PDT by NetAddicted (Just looking)
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To: Jonty30
1) It's possible that people are marrying less and having kids less because we are approaching end times.

"Matthew 24:20 Context 17 Let him which is on the housetop not come down to take any thing out of his house: 18 Neither let him which is in the field return back to take his clothes. 19 And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days! 20 But pray ye that your flight be not in the winter, neither on the sabbath day: 21 For then shall be great tribulation, such as was not since the beginning of the world to this time, no, nor ever shall be. 22 And except those days should be shortened, there should no flesh be saved: but for the elect's sake those days shall be shortened. 23 Then if any man shall say unto you, Lo, here is Christ, or there; believe it not.

2) It's also possible that the divorce laws are so twisted against men at this point, that men are indeed afraid of commitment.

3) Men are waiting for sex robots.

4) In the words of David Gates of Bread, "But too much love, I've never seen. Too much love, I don't know what it means. Not enough caring, too many lies. Not enough sharing. One too many goodbyes."

5) In the book, the Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, the author posits that happiness in the home is fully controlled by women. And that if a woman will just take care of man's two appetites, food and sex, he will build her the Taj Mahal. While there is an element of truth in that, it's not the full picture. There are men who would not appreciate what they have.

6) The other extreme claimed that women were responders and that men were fully responsible for the woman's response. There is an element of truth in that also. But it denies that a woman has any choice over her responses or attitudes.

7) The current war on traditional Christianity and relationships is not helping. We are flooded with images of same sex marriages. Told that gender is fluid. That women are not mothers but a subset of people who have babies.

8) And financial pressures are significant. Sure during the depression people may have married and had kids. There was nothing else to do. And they didn't have the same expectations as today. They lived cheaper, education was simpler, and children were helpers on the farm or got apprenticeships.

9) The movie Idiocracy as a lot of truth. If you never seen it, the smart couple keep thinking of reasons why it's not a good time to have kids. While the stupid drunken idiot knocks up his wife, his girlfriend, the neighbor, etc. and produces a ton of offspring. The result is that the national I.Q. drops precipitously over a 500 year period.

35 posted on 06/10/2022 2:00:50 AM PDT by DannyTN
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To: Jonty30

My grandson said it best. Why should I get married and end up like mom and dad.


36 posted on 06/10/2022 2:12:34 AM PDT by lucky american (Progressives are attacking our rights and y'all will sit there and take it.)
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To: Jonty30

This article sounds like it was written about 4Chan posters…


37 posted on 06/10/2022 2:30:10 AM PDT by EEGator
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To: Jonty30

Almost half of millennial are too feminine to even like women and the mother half of normal man don’t want to marry crazy, leftist women who hate them. The normal millennial men are into recycling - they want to crush their dirty boxes and then put them on the curb.


38 posted on 06/10/2022 3:04:56 AM PDT by WMarshal (Neocons and leftists are the same species of vicious rat.)
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To: alexander_busek

You did good.


39 posted on 06/10/2022 3:12:55 AM PDT by SauronOfMordor (A Leftist can't enjoy life unless they are controlling, hurting, or destroying others)
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To: HYPOCRACY

I got married at 29, to a girl I’d been with for 3 years at that point. Still married, 3 kids and several grandkids. I’m retiring soon to spend more time with the grandchildren.


40 posted on 06/10/2022 3:16:46 AM PDT by SauronOfMordor (A Leftist can't enjoy life unless they are controlling, hurting, or destroying others)
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