Posted on 06/06/2022 2:43:53 PM PDT by simpson96
Well, there's really no way to put this delicately. A Florida driver distracted by receiving intimate services from his passenger lost track of his surroundings and crashed head-on (it only gets worse from here, folks) into a FedEx delivery vehicle in Ft. Lauderdale on Thursday, resulting in "injuries to his private area," WPLG Local 10 reports.
The man and woman were northbound in an SUV on North Ocean Boulevard when the driver apparently became distracted by his passenger's performance and crossed the center line, striking the delivery van as it traveled southbound near the intersection with Northwest 19th St. Neither occupant of the FedEx vehicle was injured; the only package harmed was the one being attentively gift-wrapped by the passenger of the SUV.
Aerial footage of the aftermath showed both SUV occupants being treated at the scene, pants around their ankles. Other reports indicate that the driver and his passenger were both injured in the collision, which happened while the deed was being done. Despite suffering perhaps the most predictable consequence in the world, the driver appears to have gotten lucky twice over, and the resulting injuries were not reported to be reproductively catastrophic.
(Excerpt) Read more at autoblog.com ...
“A head on while getting head. At Farmer’s, we know a thing or two because we’ve seen a thing or two. We are farmers, bum ba dum bum bum bum bum.”
Reminds me of “The World According to Garp”
John Updike is the "Rabbit" guy and John Irving is the "Garp" guy and that's how I keep them straight.
She prefers stick shift, obviously
Never, ever drive around town receiving oral sex.
Wait until you get on the highway.
She was fed XXX.
Cue jingle: We are Farmers.
Rotfl
You all beat me to it! CHOMP!
The location in the story cannot exist.
North Ocean Drive (also called North Ocean Blvd, but that is a mistake as well) is another name for A1A which is the easternmost north south road in Fort Lauderdale.
If 19th Street crossed it (which it doesn’t) it would be north EAST 19th street.
There is no Ocean Drive in western Fort Lauderdale.
19th Street is a fairly busy east west road that starts (kind of) at NW 9th Avenue (also know as Powerline Road) and goes west. It is a rather...dark...part of town.
When they get these kind of details wrong, you wonder what else they get wrong.
Did the airbag defellate?
From previous Florida man and woman escapades, we do not need to see what she looked like.
Lol! I remember that scene!🤣
Darwin’s cheated again!
Amateurs
Calling Lorena Bobbitt... bring your sewing kit...
I didn’t know Kamela Harris was in Florida that day... 🤓
I bet it was Ted Nugents “Stranglehold”
The said movie happens to be based on the novel of the same name written by John Irving. Outstanding book, and let’s not blame the original for the talentless idiots who screw up the movie.
Lovers Lane can be any street?
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