Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

LETTERMAN'S TOP 10 REASONS TO VOTE DEMOCRAT
shieldspirit ^ | 11/14/2015 | David Letterman

Posted on 04/26/2022 3:40:53 AM PDT by sodpoodle

#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.

# 9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.

# 8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

# 7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.

# 6. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.

# 5. I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.

# 4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

# 3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.

# 2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

...And, the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: ageless
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-46 last
To: sodpoodle

I know this is fake because democrats don’t have to vote.
Its done for them.


41 posted on 04/26/2022 9:57:31 AM PDT by Leep (Freedom: "What's the big deal" -joe biden)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Fester Chugabrew

😂😂😂

You probably were sleeping soundly when I wasn’t


42 posted on 04/26/2022 10:01:02 AM PDT by Nifster (I see puppy dogs in the clouds)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: subterfuge

He’s been going for a very long, long time. He’s not just a masher and groper - he’s extremely malicious and goes after people, trying to ruin them utterly. He’s actually one of the reasons I strongly want to leave Colorado.

Beyond his “10 reasons” stuff, note that most of his humor contains a sadistic or cruel element - he acts like he’s being respectful to weirdos and giving them the attention they crave, but holds them up to ridicule that - given his wealth and celebrity status - makes him appear very small. Nob help you if you aren’t in the mood to “laugh at yourself.”

(Note: Some years ago, ON HIS SHOW, in a nearly-incoherent monologue, he confessed to being a cheater because he was being blackmailed. It shocked a lot of people. But that was, like - maybe 2007 or 2008, or before that.)


43 posted on 04/26/2022 11:44:53 AM PDT by Scarlett156 (Me 3 weeks ago: EVERYONE STOP GOING ON TWATTER. *Elon happens* Me: *goes on twatter twice a day*)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 39 | View Replies]

To: Scarlett156

Wow. Bizarre.


44 posted on 04/27/2022 8:20:09 AM PDT by subterfuge (I'm a pure-blood!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 43 | View Replies]

To: lakecumberlandvet
I vote democrat because my father did and his father did.

And my college professor with the man bun told me I’d be considered “cool” if I vote Democrat.

45 posted on 04/27/2022 8:23:38 AM PDT by Allegra
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: subterfuge

Haha, you should see it from my point of view. ;) Have a good one! xoxo Kristi


46 posted on 04/27/2022 8:41:19 AM PDT by Scarlett156 (On the way to #ScientologyPause we enacted #DisneyPause. A thing of beauty. You're welcome.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 44 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-46 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson