Posted on 04/07/2022 12:36:50 AM PDT by gattaca
ISSAQUAH, WA—The popular retail store Costco has announced that due to rising costs created by inflation and food shortages they will now be offering customers payment plan options to pay for beef.
"I didn't know how I was going to pay for a pack of ground beef, but now that Costco is offering easy payment plans, I can pay it off over time," said Dan Bilsby, a local Costco patron. "Now I can afford to eat roast without picking up 3 extra jobs! Thanks, Costco!"
According to sources, for a limited time, Costco is selling all beef with zero percent interest for twelve months. After that, interest will increase to a 32% adjustable APR. A company spokesperson stated that they believe providing more affordable options such as 2-year financing is important and what sets their company apart.
"Thanks to Bidenflation, the prices on everything have gone up," continued Dan Bilsby. "I wanted to take my wife out for a steak for our anniversary, but now we'll have to settle on staying home and splitting a hamburger."
At publishing time, Costco announced you can now pay off the rest of your grocery bill by signing up for a reverse mortgage with them today.
Forgot about reverse mortgages. Now I understand why my Dad opposed them.
You no want 3 extra jobs? Why, you are a lazy mon! /old reference
Costco’s new spokesman: Tom Selleck.
It was probably just a standard practice for all items on their site, but I was recently checking prices on dog food, and found one site that actually had a financing option for dog food.
Yes, for dog food.
Saw this in e-mail last nite.
Printed out and gave my Pastor the story about John MacArthur slapping Joel Osteen. He acknowledged at least having seen the picture at the head of the story before. ;-).
It’s a satire for now.
Costco sells meat in big packages and the total price is to high for me. I wish they would sell 1 or 2 steaks and not 5 or more and they also sell hamburger in 10 pounds or more amounts.
https://www.costco.com/beef.html
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