Laugh Out Loud: 10 things Democrats will never say, according to That Show Tonight

JustTheNews ^ | 3/27/2022 | John Solomon

[AT7Saluki]

Comedian and writer Michael Loftus says his latest project, That Show Tonight, is designed to create Saturday Night Live for conservatives.

And he gave a dose of his humor on the Just the News, Not Noise TV show, offering a sizzle reel of things you will never here Democrats say. compliments of several prominent cameos.

[AT7Saluki]

Laughter and ridicule - use it generously.

[antidemoncrat]

Should add: “The 2020 election was rigged”.

[PIF]

11. We need a biologist to define what a man is.

[LIConFem]

Was that Nick Searcy from “Justified” in two of those spots??

[mjp]

things you will never here Democrats say

America is the greatest country in history
I believe in freedom
I believe in limited government
I believe in capitalism

[VRW Conspirator]

11. Ronald Reagan and Donald Trump need to be on Mt. Rushmore.

Ronaldus Magnus
Donaldus Magnus

[GenXFreedomFighter]

11. I want to help. Here’s some money.
12. Don’t get an abortion, dear. Will you marry me?
13. Helping someone is reward enough. I don’t need anyone to know about it.
14. Hashtags aren’t enough. You have to get off your duff and do something more substantial than signaling your virtues.
15. Yes, I know what a woman is. I’m a woman.
16. Yes, I’ll work extra hours. It’s important that we achieve this and do it well.
17. Yes, that was my fault. I’m sorry.

I could do this all day!

[Liz]

11. Hunter Biden is a fine boy......just goes to show
this polished apple did not fall far from his Dad’s tree.

[SunkenCiv]

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[TBP]

Good list.

[GOPJ]

Looks like inflation is Biden’s fault...

[MarvinStinson]

“Maybe not everyone who disagrees with us is racist.”

[Bob434]

The left are ignorsntly and mindlessly praising bidens speech calling it “biden’s ‘tear down this wall’ moment”

Lies and cheating, it’s all they have

[Dilbert San Diego]

You can watch the clip above. But here is Loftus’ Top 10 List of Things You Will Never Here Democrats Say:

I don’t think guns are the problem.

If I get this COVID, I’m going to give Ivermectin a shot.

I’m starting to think there is something wrong with Joe Biden.

Maybe not everyone who disagrees with us is racist.

I was wrong.

Come on guys, it’s the National Anthem. Stand up!

It (COVID) came from China, believe me.

Let’s put our emotions aside and think about this logically.

Don’t worry about calling AAA, honey. I’ll change that flat tire myself.

I love this country. I wouldn’t change a thing.

[where's_the_Outrage?]

People that actually paid the taxes should get the tax rebate.

[Vaduz]

Things Democrats will never say
We are not natural born liars
We are here to help you
We won’t squander money
We won’t rig elections
We will tell the truth
We are honest
We are faithful

[Bob434]

Things many democrats are loathe to say

Oh look, my living breathing baby, isnt it wonderful?

Donald Trump is a wonderful human being and we are bugly lucky to have had him as our president. I hope he wins in 2024

Conservatives are awesome

Thank you for overturning roe vs wade... what were we think8ng?

We’re gonna work tirelessly until gay marriage is repealed

Someone somewhere is having a good time? How awesome is that?

Trump was right

We liberals are a bunch of nasty, vile, angry, revenge filled psychopaths, and we are sorry. We want to start over.

I need help

According to all the evidence, climate change is 100% natural and there,is nothing we can do to change it

China is terrible

It’s true, we are racist

Crt sucks, let’s get back to teaching fundamentals, instead of preaching to the kids and trying to brainwash them

Biden is incompetent

We cheated

[Bob434]

And finally, something you will never hear them say

We love that black folks are free now.

[oldvirginian]

From a commenter at the site....

The Democrat credo:

If it’s evidence-we destroy it;

If it’s female-we grope it;

If it’s perversion-we promote it;

If it’s law enforcement-we condemn it;

If it’s law breakers-we encourage it;

If it moves-we tax it;

If it’s your money-we spend it;

If it’s racist-we embrace it;

If someone needs saving-we save them from themselves;

If it’s a mandate-we keep it;

And if it favor’s foreigners over Americans-we vote for it.

[GenXFreedomFighter]

18. Money and resources are limited. The government can’t just keep spending like they’re infinite.
19. You can’t make something out of nothing. That’s science.
20. Nothing is free. There’s always someone paying for it.
21. Electricity is not generated in the wall or the charging station. Most of it still comes from burning fossil fuels, so your electric car doesn’t really stop that.