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FROM THE REDNECK BOOK OF MANNERS:
email from a friend | 3/17/2022 | unknown

Posted on 03/17/2022 5:04:22 AM PDT by sodpoodle

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To help our depression in these strange times.
1 posted on 03/17/2022 5:04:22 AM PDT by sodpoodle
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To: sodpoodle

I look for these threads of yours every day, though you may skip a few days


2 posted on 03/17/2022 5:13:38 AM PDT by Deaf Smith (When a Texan takes his chances, chances will be taken that's for sure.)
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To: sodpoodle

Take dishes out of the sink before you pee in it.


3 posted on 03/17/2022 5:14:21 AM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: sodpoodle

A beer fridge on the back deck is perfectly fine. A beer fridge on the back deck, front deck, and garage might indicate a problem.


4 posted on 03/17/2022 5:19:42 AM PDT by BBQToadRibs2
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To: sodpoodle

Thank You so very much. It got my reaction into my “George Carlin” state of laughter.


5 posted on 03/17/2022 5:20:03 AM PDT by shadeaud (We have to discover the real truth and who did all the funding. This is American ....Defend it)
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To: sodpoodle

But really, if a potential workplace is averse to beer, do you really want to be around those kind of people?


6 posted on 03/17/2022 5:20:19 AM PDT by Still Thinking (Freedom is NOT a loophole!)
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To: Huskrrrr

Ah, you must be lace curtain Irish, and not shanty Irish.


7 posted on 03/17/2022 5:24:33 AM PDT by kosciusko51
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To: sodpoodle

The rest seems like good advice, but what is wrong with the following?

“When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.”


8 posted on 03/17/2022 5:24:41 AM PDT by Krosan
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To: sodpoodle

Pretty funny. First time I’ve seen your stuff here.


9 posted on 03/17/2022 5:24:50 AM PDT by nikos1121
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To: sodpoodle
Festus would have approved...


10 posted on 03/17/2022 5:26:53 AM PDT by COBOL2Java (Fauci is a despicable little turd)
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To: sodpoodle

I’ve thought of a couple.

1. No, everyone “is” going to notice that your Elvis wig is not real.
2. Wearing chaps to a bar is not macho anymore.
3. Asking a girl on the first date that her teeth are so pretty they look like dentures, is a no-no, because more than likely, they are dentures.
4. Routing an exhaust pipe to the front of your pick up will not attract any women to you, same with mud flaps.
5. Bumper stickers like, “I’m a lover and a mean bull rider” don’t work if you’re a woman trying to attract men.


11 posted on 03/17/2022 5:34:26 AM PDT by nikos1121
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To: sodpoodle

Even though it’s properly called “meat loaf” it’s considered particularly hospitable to identify the specific meat for guests.


12 posted on 03/17/2022 5:44:39 AM PDT by muir_redwoods (Freedom isn't free, liberty isn't liberal and you'll never find anything Right on the Left)
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To: sodpoodle
At least we can still make fun of Rednecks.

13 posted on 03/17/2022 5:49:26 AM PDT by BitWielder1 (I'd rather have Unequal Wealth than Equal Poverty.)
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To: sodpoodle

Hey.... I resemble those remarks.


14 posted on 03/17/2022 6:03:03 AM PDT by LastDayz (A blunt and brazen Texan. I will not be assimilated.)
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To: sodpoodle
Come on, man - there are exceptions! For example, on the first five:

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. [Unless it's a phone interview]

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. [But if they're up on your roof they're fair game - although you might have to patch any resulting holes in your roof]

3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. [Except for the church picnic, of course]

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. [Or maybe just sleep on the sofa]

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. [But having your bass boat or party barge hitched up behind the truck is ok, and either one will hold lots of stuff, if your trailer tires are in good shape]

(...and 'yes', I have been called a 'redneck'... ;>)

15 posted on 03/17/2022 6:08:55 AM PDT by Who is John Galt? ("...mit Pulver und Blei, Die Gedanken sind frei!")
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To: sodpoodle

OMG this is funny stuff.


16 posted on 03/17/2022 6:08:59 AM PDT by ronniesgal (if more folks would mind their own business the world would be a better place.)
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To: sodpoodle

Before buying another old car mow your lawn, you might find one.


17 posted on 03/17/2022 6:18:17 AM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: sodpoodle
Q: What does a tornado and divorce in Mississippi have in common? Ans. somebody’s going to lose a trailer.
18 posted on 03/17/2022 6:20:23 AM PDT by OldCorps
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To: sodpoodle

I identify as a redneck, and I resemble those remarks.


19 posted on 03/17/2022 6:28:42 AM PDT by Skepolitic ( )
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Too Big for His Britches
She’s Got Gumption
That’s Cattywampus
A Rooster One Day and A Feather Duster the Next


20 posted on 03/17/2022 6:32:01 AM PDT by deport
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