[sodpoodle]

To help our depression in these strange times.

[Deaf Smith]

I look for these threads of yours every day, though you may skip a few days

[Huskrrrr]

Take dishes out of the sink before you pee in it.

[BBQToadRibs2]

A beer fridge on the back deck is perfectly fine. A beer fridge on the back deck, front deck, and garage might indicate a problem.

[shadeaud]

Thank You so very much. It got my reaction into my “George Carlin” state of laughter.

[Still Thinking]

But really, if a potential workplace is averse to beer, do you really want to be around those kind of people?

[Krosan]

The rest seems like good advice, but what is wrong with the following?

“When sending your wife/girlfriend down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.”

[nikos1121]

Pretty funny. First time I’ve seen your stuff here.

[COBOL2Java]

Festus would have approved...

[nikos1121]

I’ve thought of a couple.

1. No, everyone “is” going to notice that your Elvis wig is not real.
2. Wearing chaps to a bar is not macho anymore.
3. Asking a girl on the first date that her teeth are so pretty they look like dentures, is a no-no, because more than likely, they are dentures.
4. Routing an exhaust pipe to the front of your pick up will not attract any women to you, same with mud flaps.
5. Bumper stickers like, “I’m a lover and a mean bull rider” don’t work if you’re a woman trying to attract men.

[muir_redwoods]

Even though it’s properly called “meat loaf” it’s considered particularly hospitable to identify the specific meat for guests.

[BitWielder1]

At least we can still make fun of Rednecks.

[LastDayz]

Hey.... I resemble those remarks.

[Who is John Galt?]

Come on, man - there are exceptions! For example, on the first five:

1. Never take a beer to a job interview. [Unless it's a phone interview]

2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. [But if they're up on your roof they're fair game - although you might have to patch any resulting holes in your roof]

3. It's considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. [Except for the church picnic, of course]

4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. [Or maybe just sleep on the sofa]

5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still considered tacky to drive a U-Haul to the funeral home. [But having your bass boat or party barge hitched up behind the truck is ok, and either one will hold lots of stuff, if your trailer tires are in good shape]

(...and 'yes', I have been called a 'redneck'... ;>)

[ronniesgal]

OMG this is funny stuff.

[Huskrrrr]

Before buying another old car mow your lawn, you might find one.

[OldCorps]

Q: What does a tornado and divorce in Mississippi have in common? Ans. somebody’s going to lose a trailer.

[Skepolitic]

I identify as a redneck, and I resemble those remarks.

[deport]

Too Big for His Britches
She’s Got Gumption
That’s Cattywampus
A Rooster One Day and A Feather Duster the Next

[aquila48]

Redneck creativity...

[cyclotic]

I once left a funeral procession to grab a coke. Was that too red neck?

It was a long enough procession we just slid back in.