Posted on 02/28/2022 5:43:36 PM PST by Rebelbase
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The White House has announced President Joe Biden will be skipping out on this year's State of the Union address, which will instead feature a 90-minute broadcast of a dumpster engulfed in flames. Both houses of congress are expected to assemble as usual as the raging dumpster fire roars into a microphone.
House Sergeant at Arms William J. Walker will light the dumpster at the commencement of the address. Members of Congress are then expected to applaud in a partisan manner as the cathartic flames burn brightly into the night.
According to sources, this is the first act of Biden's presidency to receive genuine bipartisan support. Congressional Democrats feel the move to a dumpster fire is fitting given that the president can't string two sentences together, and Republicans are planning to boo anything anyway.
"We don't expect much difference in this year's State of the Union compared to previous years," explained Press Secretary Jen Psaki. "No one's going to watch it and then political pundits will read way too much into it as usual."
NBC reporter Peter Alexander asked, "Isn't this just a waste of everyone's time?"
Psaki was unable to hide her displeasure with the question. "The president feels, and I agree, that the people are ready for some honest answers. We feel that a flaming pile of garbage best articulates what the president is trying to convey at this point in time."
The State of the Union will be broadcast on March 1st at 9 PM EST on C-Span. Experts believe it may become one of the highest-rated State of the Union addresses ever as viewers tune in to see if the fire will get out of control and burn down the Capitol building.
Best Bee line so far.
9pm speech what kind of drugs for Sundowners?
One Shot when he gets angry! No Russian vodka though
At some point during the speech the entire Republican side should stand and tear it up in unison.
(I can dream can't I?)
dribble
You were right the first time.
How many copies of the SOTU will Nancy Pelosi need to tear up to keep the fire fed?
Plus Biden probably only really feels comfortable at his Delaware home. So they needed him to stay there to calm his nerves and allow him to reset.
Only if that someone has Tardive Dyskinesia as a side effect of her anti-psychotic medication...
Anybody got a picture of that banjo player in the movie deliverance?
That is what Biden reminds me of.
Good image, but he’s not coordinated enough to use a slingshot.
Hee heee!
Thats it!
Now now..that aint true! I seen it for myself. He holds it this way and pulls that stretchy thing that way away from him and lets er fly.
You know. Kinda like the old gun gag?
More truth in bb than nyt
They managed it for his debates with President Trump.
Yes they did and, by God, I wish I could find that doctor for my goddamned self.
If you look at videos of Biden over the past six years you can see that the progression of Biden's mental decline is not linear but accelerating as it goes on. He doesn't have many months left. Any doctors on Free Republic that aren't concerned about leftists canceling their medical license please chime in.
I want to feel sympathetic to Biden's health but when he was a young man he was still a manipulative, evil communist so I don't.
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