Posted on 02/28/2022 5:43:36 PM PST by Rebelbase
WASHINGTON, D.C.—The White House has announced President Joe Biden will be skipping out on this year's State of the Union address, which will instead feature a 90-minute broadcast of a dumpster engulfed in flames. Both houses of congress are expected to assemble as usual as the raging dumpster fire roars into a microphone.
House Sergeant at Arms William J. Walker will light the dumpster at the commencement of the address. Members of Congress are then expected to applaud in a partisan manner as the cathartic flames burn brightly into the night.
According to sources, this is the first act of Biden's presidency to receive genuine bipartisan support. Congressional Democrats feel the move to a dumpster fire is fitting given that the president can't string two sentences together, and Republicans are planning to boo anything anyway.
"We don't expect much difference in this year's State of the Union compared to previous years," explained Press Secretary Jen Psaki. "No one's going to watch it and then political pundits will read way too much into it as usual."
NBC reporter Peter Alexander asked, "Isn't this just a waste of everyone's time?"
Psaki was unable to hide her displeasure with the question. "The president feels, and I agree, that the people are ready for some honest answers. We feel that a flaming pile of garbage best articulates what the president is trying to convey at this point in time."
The State of the Union will be broadcast on March 1st at 9 PM EST on C-Span. Experts believe it may become one of the highest-rated State of the Union addresses ever as viewers tune in to see if the fire will get out of control and burn down the Capitol building.
Not satire.
BEEEEEEEEEEE!!!
Like the Yule Log on channel 11 every Christmas. LOL.
Don’t set expectations so low that even a demented old man can meet them.
This guy is the living embodiment of Pink Floyd’s “Comfortably Numb.”
Okay, just a little pinprick
There’ll be no more, “AHHHH!”
But, you may feel a little sick
Can you stand up?
I do believe it’s working, good!
That’ll keep you going for the show
Come on, it’s time to go
It will take him an hour and a half to read his 30 minutes worth of dribble.
That’s why they have kept him in Delaware for days to reorient his sleep schedule so his body will think it is the morning time.
drivel
Probably why he’s in Delaware.
Can we watch while someone tears up a copy of his speech?
...or freezing up like a deer in the headlights - they'll have to balance his meds with extreme precision. Because even expensive doctors aren't perfect, there's a chance we might see something entertaining...
;>)
WIth multiple standing ovations. From both sides of the aisle.
8^(
They’re doing that State of the Union about my life at 53?
odd
Buck Sexton said it’s not the ‘state of the union’, it’s the ‘state of the dumpster fire’ speech.
Just heard someone say .... “this is what you get when you order a president by mail”
Seems about right.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.