Posted on 02/20/2022 4:23:04 PM PST by Morgana
BOSTON, MA—Dozens of swimmers are dead and thousands of viewers have been traumatized as a Great White Shark named Tia was allowed to compete in the women's 500-yard freestyle event at the Ivy League Swimming & Diving Championships Friday.
"Wow, this brave swimmer is really making a splash here," said one commentator as the starting buzzer went off and the shark immediately thrashed through the pool, eating swimmers screaming for their lives. "Look at that form! It's like she was biologically designed for this kind of thing."
Tia continued to dominate heat after heating, wowing spectators with her speed, form, poise, and ability to maul anyone in the pool.
"What's your secret?" asked a reporter after the event. She was promptly eaten.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Love the Bee.
Sportswriter left out which school whatever pronoun swam for.
I love gross exaggeration.
I guess woke movies aren’t reality.
Another fake woman 🤪
🦈
I swear I read the title and broke out laughing. Still laughing.
Hey, is a strategy! The rules don’t explicitly state that it’s off limits to eat the other swimmers!
At least the shark was really female.
I am still laughing after reading all of the posts! The guys at the Bee are unbelievable! ;-)
Yeah, the big, bad, great white shark … (s)he be talkin’ sh** and taken names…
…’til the orca t-girls show up. Then (s)he be bookin’.
If the shark ate the Penn trans swimmer, does that count as straight or gay sex?
“Candygram!”
XD
😄
Priceless!
Shark is missing his laser.
Farewell and adieu to you, fair Spanish ladies.
Farewell and adieu, you ladies of Spain
For we’ve received orders for to sail back to Boston.
And so nevermore shall we see you again.
“If the shark ate the Penn trans swimmer, does that count as straight or gay sex?”
That is funny.
I was just about to post on another BB thread that even the BB can’t keep up with the left, but this proves me wrong.
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