Southern Man In Critical Condition After Being Served Unsweetened Tea

The Babylon Bee ^ | February 1, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

Cheers, y'all!

[Viking2002]

OK, you had me until I saw it was The Bee. LOL

[Steve Van Doorn]

I thought they where going to say, he was rushed to the hospital. Then they pumped him full of midazolam, Remdesivir, Baricinitib, vancomycin, Baristasentive and fluvoxamine. He died shortly after.

Those are the primary drugs that are killing people in hospitals.

[Chode]

i’ve seen it, and it ain’t pretty...

[chajin]

Sugar...

[Deaf Smith]

Correct.

Tea should be sweetened with honey.

[scott7278]

They got me until I looked.

[BEJ]

This is about Neil Young being incapable of digesting normal life... what a shock.

[CondoleezzaProtege]

I like 1/2 sweet mixed with 1/2 unsweet.

[Larry Lucido]

Neil Young asked “Does anybody need me around?”
“

[Nifster]

Lordy how I love The Bee

[CatHerd]

LOL! Thanks for posting!

Until I got near the end, I was sure the writer must have lived in Knoxville at some point, what with Litton’s Restaurant and the waitress’s name. But, while Fountain City is a real area of Knoxville, there is no Fountain City Police Department (all KPD) and — horror of horrors! — McDonald’s iced tea! From Micky D tea, dear heaven, preserve us!

Everyone around K-town knows if you are dealing with a life-and-death siruation like this, and simply *must* resort to fast food iced tea, you’d go with Bojangles with real lemon. It’s not proper sweet tea without the lemon slice.

For truly proper sweet tea, you brew it yourself at home, add cane sugar (not that Yankee beet sugar) and serve with fresh lemon slices and sprigs of fresh mint.

[Sequoyah101]

I am a confirmed southern man an I cant stand sweet tea!

Except for the dead part “Small Town Southern Man” is close to me.

Way further south than Knoxville but not so far South that a yankee is anyone north of Franklin, Louisiana, East of Thibodaux or west of Abbeville

[Clutch Martin]

Mama called it “plain tea” and drank it plain. I discovered that a tiny pinch of the pink packet was all I needed.

I’m not that much of a tea drinker but I still use the tiny pinch of the pink packet to this day. Sugar burns my throat, it always has.

[martin_fierro]

We go through a lot of these up in heah.

[metmom]

Those are the primary drugs that are killing people in hospitals.

Actually, I think you may have worded that wrong.

*Those are the primary drugs the hospital administrators are ordering doctors to use to kill people* would be more accurate.

Kind of like blame the shooter, not the gun.

[Tennessee Conservative]

ROTFL, had me too for a minute. I live near Knoxville and have lived in TN for 50 years. I drink my tea without sugar. We ate in a restaurant close to Knoxville once and I ordered unsweetened tea. The young guy that was waiting tables said “what kind of sweetener do you want?” I said “none.” He muttered under his breath, “lady, you are weird.” LOL

[21twelve]

He didn’t taste any sugar - first thing that comes to mind is COVID!! (Lack of taste).

When I first moved to New Jersey I ordered a cup of coffee to go at the diner. The gal asked me “regular?” I said yes.

She put it in the to-go cup with the lid on it and I walked out the door. I took a sip and gagged and spit it out on the parking lot.

I went back inside. “Excuse me. I asked for regular coffee - this has cream and sugar.”

“That’s right honey. ‘Regular’ is cream and sugar. Your not from around here are you?”

I can’t recall if I got black coffee or just did without.

[gundog]

[Steve Van Doorn]

"*Those are the primary drugs the hospital administrators are ordering doctors to use to kill people* would be more accurate."

You're right thank you for the correction