Knitting doctor and time - best!
A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake.
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee.
After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the waiter, “Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?”
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, “Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is only fair — given that you are blind — that you should know five things:
* The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
* The bouncer is a blonde girl.
* I’m a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
* The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weightlifter.
* The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?”
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, “No… Not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.”
LOL! Thanks!
Good collection! TGIF!
We’re all blonde in my family. We have more education and advanced degrees than anyone in my extensive Irish family. Good jobs. Good reputation A nice social group who would never tell us a blonde joke. One former friend who did.
We think a bit different tgan most I notice. We take things very literally. What that’s a blonde girl thing I do not know.
Of the jokes here the first one illustrates it.
A Blonde, a Redhead, and a Brunette were on a beach on an island..
The Blonde grabs a board, throws it in the water and gets on to paddle to the mainland...
The Redhead also grabs a board, but she also gets an umbrella and allows the breeze to push her toward the mainland...
The Brunette walks a couple hundred yards down the beach and crosses the bridge to the mainland......
I’m a Trekkie, so...
What does Dr. Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde passenger on the Enterprise?
“Space. The final frontier...”
I’m a Trekkie, so...
What does Dr. Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde passenger on the Enterprise?
“Space. The final frontier...”
my one blonde sister hates blonde jokes so i will have to share. Too funny!!!
I also pass on this.
I am a blond with a .357.
And a great shot.
The first blonde gazed up at the sky, and asked her companion "Which do you think is closer? The moon or Florida?"
Her friend replied "Well, duh! Can you see Florida from here?"
My blond niece just had a baby girl. She is waiting for DNA test results to see if it’s hers.
A Blond a redhead and a brunette were driving through the desert on a remote road. They met no traffic all morning. Suddenly the car stopped dead and wouldn’t start.
They decided each one would select one item to carry to help them survive their walk to civilization.
The brunette took a full gallon of water. The redhead grabbed a light blanket. The blonde started taking one of the front doors off the car. After 90 minutes it was finally off and they’re ready to go.
The brunette said, “I’m taking the water. We’ll get thirsty and will need water to survive.”
The redhead said, “I’m taking the blanket. We can use it for shade during the day and it will keep us warm if we’re still out here tonight.”
The blonde said, “I’m taking the car door. If we get hot I can just roll down the window.”
These work just as well as ‘Liberal’ jokes . . .
I may have to send the Redhead one to my Redhead friend!
Thanks, I needed that!
Ba da bing
What do you call 10 blondes in a swimming pool?
Air pockets.
I think blonde women are beautiful and smart. And that’s no joke.
As a natural blonde I used to be extremely offended by these jokes. Now that I’m older I couldn’t care less because sure, they are funny! BUT...as a natural blonde I can tell you without a shadow of a doubt 99% of the most ignorant, stupid, brain dead “blondes” are bleached BRUNETTES! :) Only about 5% of men/women of European decent are natural blonde...and natural blondes are smart!