Posted on 01/08/2022 5:36:52 AM PST by sodpoodle
A professor at Wayne State University in Detroit was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.To get a feel for his audience, he asks, "How many people here believe in ghosts?"
About 90 students raise their hands.
"Well, that's a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts, do any of you think you have seen a ghost?"
About 40 students raise their hands.
That's really good. I'm really glad you take this seriously. Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?"
About 15 students raise their hand.
"Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?"
Three students raise their hands.
"That's fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further...Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?"
Way in the back, Hamad raises his hand.
The professor takes off his glasses and says, "Son, all the years I've been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You've got to come up here and tell us about your experience." The Middle Eastern student replied with a nod and a grin, and began to make his way up to the podium.
When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks, "So, Hamad, tell us what it's like to have sex with a ghost?"
Hamad replied, "Hell, from way back there I thought you said Goats."
Lol! I should have known where this would be leading to, yet I followed along anyway, eating one breadcrumb after the other.
Not funny.
Baaaaad!)
According to a particular joke in the Muslim world women are for having babies. Little boys are for sex and a goat is for pure ecstasy.
The professor asked the class of young adults to raise their hands if they have sex more than once a week. Most hands go up.
He then asks for hands of those who only have sex once a month. Less hands.
He asks for a show of hands for those who have sex only once every 6 months and 2 hands flutter.
Not expecting a response, he asked if anyone has sex only once a year.
A young man in the back raises his hand while giggling uncontrollably.
The Professor asked, ‘If you only have sex once a year, why are you so happy?’
The young man said, ‘Because tonight’s the night!’
Other than the “goat” part, it’s not a joke.
I apologize ......I’m as straight laced as they come......
....but I needed a laugh today
And this fit the bill.
Sick bastas, all of us!
Rude, crude, and lewd! Wouldn’t have laughed if it wasn’t funny.
And told with no ‘dirty words’. It’s all in the imagination.
First time I ever had sex, her mother walked in on us and yelled, “BAAAAAA!”
Funny.. 👍
I’ve read several plausible *maybe* ghost stories over the years, but one I heard was a real puzzler.
An early middle aged man was much better at making money than finding love, an asocial type, retired very early, then bought himself a house larger than he needed mostly because it was isolated, the scenery was beautiful, and it was inexpensive.
Soon after moving in, he started to feel another presence. After a time, the presence because a pressure, not like an object laying on him, but as if gravity itself has slightly increased. Yet he neither felt nervous nor afraid.
Well over a year later, three things happened, a sort of whisper wafting in his ear, that at first he thought said “I”, but after many times he realized that it was saying “Hi”. Then at almost the same time he realized that the pressure was in the form of a young adult female body lying face down on him, and he got the passing scent of lilacs.
Now he was inspired, so whenever he heard “Hi”, he responded by saying “Name”. After a long pause it replied “Who You”.
A big breakthrough came with exchanging their first names. But then there were days with nothing. Finally, when he was getting frustrated, it asked “You ghost”. He replied “No”. Then he asked “You ghost”. And she replied “No”.
The teller of the story concluded that as months turned to years, the more they communicated the better they got, to the point that in the darkened bedroom at night, they could even briefly and gently touch each other. However, he wanted to end the story there, as he neither wanted the curious, ghost hunters or exorcists to foul up “a good thing”.
“I get no respect I tell ya. My wife cut me down to sex three times a month. I know one guy she cut down to three times a week’’.
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