Holiday Fruitcake Recipe (from many sources - also known as ‘Scottish Fruitcake’ and ‘Drunken Fruitcake’)
1 C Water
1 C Sugar
4 Large eggs
3 C dried fruit
1 tsp. baking soda
1 tsp. salt
1 C Brown sugar
Lemon juice, nuts
1 FULL bottle of your favorite whiskey
Sample the whiskey to check for quality.
Take out a large bowl.
Check the whiskey again to be sure that it is of the highest quality.
Pour 1 level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 C of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp. sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whiskey is still OK.
Cry another cup. Turn off the mixer.
Break two geggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the burner.
If the fried fruit gets stuck in the beaters,
pry it loose with a screwdriver.
Sample the whiskey to check for toxisisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt.
Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey.
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one tablespoon of sugar or something...whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn on the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don’t forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the whiskey again. Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruit cake anyway???
A festive holiday drink for children.
Disneyland Non Alcoholic Mint Julep / Serves: 10
Ingredients 3 cups sugar 8 cups water 1 cup creme de menthe syrup 1/3 cup frozen lemonade concentrate 1/3 cup frozen limeade concentrate optional a few drops of green food coloring Garnish: lemon wedges mint sprigs maraschino cherries
Instructions Add sugar and water to a large sauce pan. Bring the mix to a boil, stirring occasionally. Cool for 5 minutes, then pour mixture into a large pitcher. Add the creme de menthe syrup, and frozen lemonade and limeade concentrates. Add a little green food coloring and stir to mix. Refrigerate until completely cooled.
SERVE over a glass with some ice and garnish with lemon wedges, mint sprigs, and cherries.