I think this is silly enough for a post.
The Official Friday Silliness Thread ping.
I think this is silly enough for a post.
I have my October 31 party all planned.
I will be serving the old style frankfurters that has the casing that is tied off at both ends. I’m gonna untie one end of the casing, take a spoon, and hollow out the frankfurter. I will re-tie the casing, place all the empty frankfurters in buns, and cover them with mustard, relish and onions.
When my guests bite into them, I will shout:
“Hollow weenie!”
A little Shining for Halloween
Funny Quotes from Employee Performance Evaluations
Everyone is entitled to be stupid, but some abuse the privilege.
Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
I would not allow this employee to breed.
Works well when under constant supervision and cornered in a trap.
When he opens his mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.
He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
She sets low personal standards, then consistently fails to achieve them.
This employee should go far -— and the sooner he starts, the better.
This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
______________________
On a recent transatlantic flight, a plane passes through a severe storm. The turbulence is awful, and suddenly one wing is struck by lightning.
A woman on the plane starts to lose it. She stands up in the front of the plane screaming, “I’m too young to die!” Then she yells, “Well, if I’m going to die, I want my last minutes to be memorable! Is there ANYONE on this plane who can make me feel like a WOMAN?”
For a moment there is silence. Everyone has forgotten their own peril. They all stare, riveted, at the desperate woman in the front of the plane.
Then a man stands up in the rear of the plane. “I can make you feel like a woman,” he says. He is gorgeous, tall, built, with long, flowing black hair and jet black eyes. He starts to walk slowly up the aisle, unbuttoning his shirt.............one button at a time.
No one moves.
He removes his shirt.
Muscles ripple across his chest. As he reaches her, he extends the arm holding his shirt out to the trembling woman, and whispers:
..................................”Iron this.”
_______________________
My sister is really starting to get annoyed with all the “ breastfeeding “ haters out there.
She feels she has the right to feed her cat the way she wants to.
_____________________
An elderly couple married 50 years start talking after another one of their regular arguments.
“ Honey, I’m so sorry that I let out my anger at you so often. How do you manage to stay so calm with my foul moods? ”
“ I always go and clean the toilet when that happens.”
“ And that helps? ”
“ Yes, because I use your toothbrush.”
Please, put me on this ping list. Thanx