Posted on 09/25/2021 5:17:10 AM PDT by sodpoodle
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and
orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As
the bartender gives her the drink she says,
'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birth-
day and it's today..'
The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birth-
day, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on
me.'
As the woman finishes her drink, the
woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy
you a drink, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you.
Bartender,I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'
'Coming up,' says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left
says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'
The old woman says, 'Thank you.
Bartender,I want another Scotch with two drops of
water.' 'Coming right up,' the bartender says.
As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am,
I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with
only two drops of water ?'
The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you
are my age, you've learned how to hold
your liquor. Holding your water, however,
is a whole other issue.'
'OLD' IS WHEN... Your friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you're barefoot..
'OLD' IS WHEN... A sexy babe or hunk catches your fancy and your pacemaker opens the garage door.
'OLD' IS WHEN... You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.
'OLD' IS WHEN... You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police
'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting a little action' means you don't need to take any fiber today.
'OLD' IS WHEN... 'Getting lucky' means you find your car in the parking lot.
'OLD' IS WHEN... An 'all nighter' means not getting up
to go to the bathroom !
Being 65 I know a 42 y/o business acquaintance jokes and calls me old man. Doesn’t bother me but to him I guess I am. He calls Florida ‘God’s waiting room’. LOL.
You are officially old when Gremlins keep visiting your house and stuff disappears for a while—and them mysteriously reappears.
:-)
If someone I know and like calls me “old man”, I can accept that. Otherwise, it’s disrespectful.
You are officially old when Gremlins keep visiting your house and stuff disappears for a while—and them mysteriously reappears.
—
That’s either your cat or a malicious ex-girlfriend
CC
A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship”
.
Wouldn’t an Uber be easier? Where the hell would you park a cruise ship?
She calls me by name now and with great respect.
Geez you deserve it-JOINING a new Co at 63 in a time when 50 yr olds are being booted left and right.
Perception of age is a very relative thing. A 29 yr old pilot serving in the eighth Air Force during ww2 was referred to as “pops” by the teenage guncrews.
Turn 71 in a couple of months, on the ranch a minimum of 26 to 27 days a month, still healthy and always busy. I thought that was doing pretty good until I watched an old friend of mine take first place calf roping in a open division against 18-30 year olds. He just turned 75 and was slamming 250-275 calves like he was back in school when he was cleaning up the AJRA rodeo circuit.
Happy birthday!
Not likely to improve.
That’s a keeper.
LOL—well played!
Been practicing on the less water thing for decades!!...for me it’s Jack Daniels. I rarely buy a bottle as I get ones for gifts each Christmas! Got family and friends trained. I am blessed not to need anything so ask for gifts I can eat or drink!!
NA ZDRAVI (try saying that after two drinks!)
one possible response: my chances of reaching old age are 100%. your chances are less than 100%.
The youngn’s get their manners from what they see on tv and other mass media outlets. Everything is innuendo,insult, and put down. Good job in setting her straight...
Sometimes I say...”Well, I made it. Given that the following
(And I name all sorts of calamities and illnesses) may happen to you, will you or your loved ones make it?”
Just went sky diving for my 78.
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