A friend’s party falls on the anniversary of 9/11. It feels so wrong to me (Advice column advice = ultra barf alert)

Boston Globe via MSN ^ | September 8, 2021 | Robin Abrahams

[DoodleBob]

The 20th anniversary of 9/11 is a solemn event for me. A friend invited me to his birthday celebration on that day. It would be nice to see him and raise a glass, but I think about that day and the devastating loss and I’m in tears. ...I’m shocked that anyone would celebrate anything on this day and I fear my attitude would be construed as self-righteous.

Anonymous / Boston

...

Speaking of happy news — there isn’t much these days, is there? I’m trying to grasp the death toll of COVID-19, currently more than 200 times that of 9/11. Flight attendants still put their lives on the line, and images of bodies falling from planes in Kabul are fresh in my mind. No terrorist plane hit the Surfside condominium — that building’s residents were crushed to death due to alleged neglect, incompetence, and denial. This is why I, writing this before the anniversary, expect to be in tears on 9/11, reflecting less on the events of that day than about everything that has transpired since.

If I observe it as a day of mourning, that is. There are so many such days now, global and national and personal. Everyone is experiencing some form of trauma, everyone is grieving something, and grief is freaky like a tornado. It shows up unexpectedly and puts things in very weird places. Sometimes grief allows joy into a place joy doesn’t normally go, a butterfly in the morgue.

So let’s not judge what other people need to do and when they need to do it, only seek your own level. If you need to mourn, find the mourners or call them to you. If you need to rejoice, do the same. And let’s all take this reminder into the holiday season.

[TianaHighrider]

💯👍