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Biden: 'We Are Not Negotiating With Terrorists, We're Just Giving The Taliban Whatever They Ask For'
The Babylon Bee ^ | Aug. 27 2021 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 08/30/2021 9:26:08 AM PDT by xp38

WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Biden today reassured citizens that he did not violate America's longstanding ban on negotiating with terrorists, because he just said 'yes' to whatever they asked for.

"I would never negotiate with terrorists! I'm Joe Biden!" screamed the President, as aides tried to calm him. "The Taliban guy - who by the way, was a lot friendlier than some of you so-called journalists - asked if we could leave on August 31st because that's his birthday. His birthday, ok? I just said, hey bucko, Uncle Joe loves birthday presents! You bet! You call that negotiating with terrorists? Hogwash!"

President Biden also kindly granted requests from the Taliban for 600,000 weapons, identification biometrics for U.S. allies, control of Afghanistan, and a photo op of Biden groveling at the feet of a mujahideen. Biden was very diligent to ask for absolutely nothing for America in return, so as not to violate U.S. policy.

"Let me be clear - there was no quid pro quo here, not like that Trump fella," said Biden. "All I did was say yes sir! Well, I did ask if he would let Americans get to the airport, but he said no, so I'm not counting that. The fact is, I have handled this thing perfectly, and if I had it to do over again, I would do it perfectly again, just like I did the first time."

At publishing time, the Taliban had reportedly added a request for some Popeye's chicken sandwiches to be delivered by the Dallas Cowboys' cheerleaders, which Biden is working on from the Situation Room.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Military/Veterans; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: afghanistan; biden; california; nancypelosi; taliban; waronterror
I didn't put humour in the topics because this skirts too close to reality for me.
1 posted on 08/30/2021 9:26:08 AM PDT by xp38
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To: xp38

0bama bowed more humbly. Joe’s got a lot to learn.


2 posted on 08/30/2021 9:27:40 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: xp38

That is how FDR negotiated with Stalin.


3 posted on 08/30/2021 9:30:11 AM PDT by KC_Lion
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To: Billthedrill

To be fair biden is very old and heavily medicated.
He can barely walk up steps let alone bow.


4 posted on 08/30/2021 9:33:09 AM PDT by Leep (Save America. Lock down Joe Biden!)
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To: Billthedrill

“Joe’s got a lot to learn”

Still got over 3 years to practice


5 posted on 08/30/2021 9:39:39 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: V_TWIN

Yeah, there’s a real encouraging thought. OTOH, let’s not consider what Harris would be doing...


6 posted on 08/30/2021 9:41:41 AM PDT by Billthedrill
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To: Billthedrill

At her age they would use her as a fluffer for their prize stud billy goat


7 posted on 08/30/2021 9:45:27 AM PDT by shotgun
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To: xp38

Giving him everything they want. Including 80+ BILLION dollars of weapons.. By the way we paid to that. And he offered the pallets of our money also. Just like obama did for iraq. They say it never got there but i wonder.


8 posted on 08/30/2021 9:49:07 AM PDT by glimmerman70
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To: Billthedrill

Maybe China paid Biden lots of money to turn this into a cluterf**k...None of this is by accident


9 posted on 08/30/2021 9:50:16 AM PDT by Hambone 1934 (Dems love playing Nazis.....The republicans love helping them)
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To: xp38

Liberals hate the Bee

Wonder why


10 posted on 08/30/2021 9:56:15 AM PDT by silverleaf (In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act)
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To: xp38

Biden , “Terrorist Invaders for the Win”


11 posted on 08/30/2021 9:57:24 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: xp38

When did the the Bee stop with their parodies?


12 posted on 08/30/2021 10:07:34 AM PDT by Michael.SF. (Never do anything illegal, when you are doing something illegal. )
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To: xp38

It would be funny if it weren’t real.


13 posted on 08/30/2021 10:08:58 AM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you care! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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To: Michael.SF.

👍👍😀


14 posted on 08/30/2021 10:11:19 AM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you care! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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To: xp38

Pretty ironic when true reality sounds like the satire of the Bee, and the satire of the Bee points out true reality with accuracy...

Where are the goal posts of rationality and reality?


15 posted on 08/30/2021 10:16:16 AM PDT by Openurmind (The ultimate test of a moral society is the kind of world it leaves to its children. ~ D. Bonhoeffer)
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To: xp38

This is NOT funny.


16 posted on 08/30/2021 10:29:05 AM PDT by drSteve78 (Je suis Deplorable. )
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To: Billthedrill

I’d opt for Harris. She’d probly freeze up like a deer in headlights.


17 posted on 08/30/2021 11:24:57 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: Billthedrill

she would still be having sex with anyone with a title.


18 posted on 08/30/2021 12:04:11 PM PDT by dirtymac ( Now Is The Time For All Good Men To ComeTo The Aid Of Their Country! NOW)
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