Posted on 08/26/2021 5:00:35 AM PDT by sodpoodle
SEX AT 85 I just took a leaflet out of my mailbox, informing me that I can have sex at 85. I'm so happy, because I live at number 83. So it's not too far to walk home afterwards. And it's the same side of the street. I don't even have to cross the road! ~~~~~
Answering machine message, "I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes." ~~~~~ My wife and I had words, but I didn't get to use mine. ~~~~~ Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
~~~~~ Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.
~~~~~ The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere. ~~~~~
God made man before woman so as to give him time to think of an answer for her first question. ~~~~~
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one. ~~~~~ Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
Adam’s first words to Eve were: Stand back. I don’t know how big it will get.
A friend's wife was very nearsighted. Her shift started early in the morning. A conversation went like this as she was fumbling around in the dark:
Bill: "What's the trouble?"
Sarah: "I'm trying to find my glasses."
Bill: "Go ahead, turn on the lights."
Sarah: "That's not going to help."
The reason Eve was called a woman is the first time Adam saw her he said, “Woah! Man!”. LOL
Two snakes are slithering along.
Snake #1...”Hey, are we venomous?”
Snake #2...”I don’t think so.”
Snake #1...”Oh good, ‘cause I just bit my tongue.”
“Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.”
A slight, but important, modification:
Blessed are those who can give without remembering and RECEIVE without forgetting.
still using that line.
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