i'd buy that for a dollar...
Posted on 07/21/2021 3:14:54 PM PDT by xp38
ATLANTA, GA—CNN has unveiled an exciting new subscription service, CNN+, that blocks all CNN programming from view for the low, low price of $15 per month.
The move is expected to save CNN from bankruptcy, as the highly anticipated feature already has millions of sign-ups. Many thought CNN would not recover from the post-Trump years, but it appears people will actually pay not to have to ever see CNN again.
"We're giving the people what they want," said Brian Stelter. "And what they want, apparently, is to see a whole lot less of me."
Subscribers will never again have to see a CNN broadcast, whether they're at the airport, a hotel lobby, or they accidentally surf on by the channel while trying to turn into a real news station. Advanced streaming technology allows CNN+ to detect when a subscriber is in the vicinity of a public television playing CNN, and the system will automatically block all programming from view.
People who subscribe to the higher tiers of the subscription platform will get additional perks, like three throws at Brian Stelter perched above a dunk tank. Oh, and it's filled with alligators!
i'd buy that for a dollar...
Sign me up!
Best service ever. Funny too.
I’d pay extra for the dunk tank perk.
I’ll miss Wolf Blitzer at the Iraqi “baby milk factory” and Don Le Mon complaining about something or other...said no one ever.
LOL, shouldn’t it be CNN-?
Yeah that’s the way I would have gone. Still a few bugs at the Bee.
I’d be a player if it blocked MSNBC and all of those too
Now THAT is damned funny.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.