Posted on 06/29/2021 5:15:45 PM PDT by CharlesOConnell
No, I won’t stop reminding people that the very bad life advice they are handing to young men is not biblical. This is supposed to be a God honoring site.
Agree most of the marriage laws - actually all in a sense since they redefined it as any twosome - are not biblical.
The solution is for us to be MORE biblical - not less!
Later in the article, it is revealed that that same daughter had gotten pregnant at age 18. So there was also a 4-year-old (grand)child in the equation - yet this is totally elided in the story.
Regards,
THANK YOU for posting this.
J1630 has a point. In your anger and bitterness, you do broad brush and condemn all women and don’t pass up opportunities to do so even on threads that have nothing to do with marriage. FR is not your personal platform for you to lash out and hurt all women to get back at the one who hurt you.
It’s true that the courts are beyond unjust towards men and that there are many women who work the system to screw men over. But it’s not ALL women.
Many women have put up with much abuse before their divorce, and have to put up with men who simply refuse to follow the courts ordered child support and alimony.
It goes both ways and men are not exempt from being guilty of wronging women either. And there are many men and women both who put up with bad marriages and work to make them better. Many have far more integrity that you seem to think they have.
So, let go of your anger and bitterness against women as a whole because of the woman who wronged you. I am not responsible for what happened between the two of you and should not be held accountable for the actions of someone I never met. By taking your anger out on women like you do, that is what you are doing, expecting us to answer for someone else’s actions.
I know someone who saw nothing wrong with cohabitation and lived with the man she eventually married for about three years, the following marriage lasted about four and a half years. No children, she said she was terrified of becoming pregnant and being abandoned by her husband, because she had seen this happen to her friends. When I asked her if they'd gotten married first before becoming pregnant she became very vague and said they'd been "together."
I don't think the cohabitation led to a stronger union in all these cases. It seemed in each instance that it made the man very free to leave (even when there were children) when he felt like it.
You’re right that a marriage should be Christ centered.
Getting married for any other reason is asking for trouble because when that reason changes, the marriage has nothing left to be based on.
So the guy who marries thinking it’s all about as much sex as he wants, or the woman who marries for financial reasons, are in big trouble when the sex or money is no longer forthcoming. The whole basis for their marriage is gone and they don’t know what to do with it.
My poor grandmother was married to a nasty, abusive man and after about 6 kids, suggested slowing things down some, and his response was *I got married to have a good time*.
They went on to have 7 more children. And she was stuck with him because in those days, you did NOT divorce. For any reason.
When he died, she could not have cared less.
And the same thing happens to women with husbands.
The dating culture is one build on false pretenses. You are always on your best behavior, looking your best, being accommodating because it’s just a date and not something you are looking at dealing with for the next 30-40 years.
People in love get carried away with their feelings and it clouds their judgment.
Then they wake up some day to reality and have no tools with which to cope.
i didn’t say all women. please stop lying about what i said.
but its ENOUGH women, when combined with the courts, and combined with divorce statistics, to make it an extreme risk for a man, which outweighs any benefits it may offer for a guy. Plus then consider many women already have backup men already picked out in case they want to leave their current man. i refer to this article here discussing a womens survey:
All of this should give any man great concern about getting married.
If the finances and courts and divorce stats were reversed, how many of you women would sign the marriage contract? If you had the same deal men have now, you would be running away so fast your heels would turn into flats.
and no one has yet even mentioned any benefit for men today in marriage. likemyou the response is to attack the speaker. and you also make a straw man to attack, as you assume a whole bunch of things you have no evidence to support.
Marriage is a horrible deal for men today. I don’t recommend it. Everything I see in statistics about it, and the law and how men are treated, its just not a good deal for men. Instead of just trying ad hoc tearing me down/insults, why not present a real case for marriage for men?
If someone is getting married because it’s a “deal” for them, just to personally gain from it, they are only using the other person for their own selfish goals and that marriage is doomed.
And yes, you do broad brush all women. I’ve read enough of your posts over the years.
You don’t have to ”say” is it in so many words to say it. So, no, I am not lying and I am not the only one who sees it.
• A financial return that includes higher earnings, more assets and more job stability. Married men make about $16,000 more than their single peers with otherwise similar backgrounds.
If the marriage is not a solid jointly-oriented economic partnership, the additional money supports a woman who then manages the balance for her warped idea of the good of the family in a way that does amazing things (claiming to do so for the good of the children and for the good of the man that he cannot conceive of as good for himself) that the man would not have time or have dreamed of himself .
No you are a liar. I did not say what you claim, those words are nowhere in my posts. Liar.
you know exactly what i mean when i used that phrase with “deal”. you are feigning ignorance. The context is marriage is a bad deal for men in relation ot it being a good deal for women, you know exactly what I’ve been talking about. Only one person benefits from marriage today and it’s not the guy. And you are fine with it because you,know women are the ones that almost always benefit.
i said it more than one way and every way i have said it, no one has ever put forth an answer just attacks and insults.
explain why marriage is a good thing for men.
tell me all the positives. unless you are of the opinion men should do things that are not good for them just because its expected of them, or its their duty to do things that aren’t beneficial to them.
Why shouldn’t marriage be beneficial for men? It is for women. If it wasn’t women wouldn’t be from childhood on dreaming about their wedding day and being married. If marriage doesn’t have to be beneficial for men then what’s the point of getting married for men, then? What kind of marriage is it if only the woman gets benefits? Not a fair or happy one for the man, that’s for sure.
“Why buy a cow when you get milk free? And would any woman that stupid be worth keeping?”
My dad told me once to “never order food at a strip bar” so... Since strippers supposedly can’t cook, or... did I get the meaning of the message wrong there?
When I was in the service there was a guy that was getting a divorce and his wife literally had hundreds of sexual liaisons while he was deployed, she confessed it to him, to her psychologist, her family... all knew about it when the “big news” broke, and despite the fact that she was totally unfaithful to anything, even her decency, the court still gave her half of everything, the house had to be sold and this poor fellow was nearing the end of a good career, with no place to live, no investments left, and on half rations.
He felt blessed, he told me. Blessed because with all of her sexual trysts, he never got and STD. He doesn’t know why that is, but he feels blessed. He was devoted to his marriage until he was hit upside the head with the lie of it all.
Sadly he’s emotionally ruined, he will never trust another woman, and time is such that he will never have a normal family. If there even is such a thing.
What is the source of this post — is it your individual testimony, or did you find an article and forget to link it?
If that were my premise. You see what you do?
You're not happy or successful because of the obvious anger and hatred you have toward the institution of marriage, and obviously went through some terrible experiences. It's logic, and most everyone can deduce that from your posts, Sherlock.
Love is not a feeling. It is a rational decision.
People often say "love" when they mean "infatuation." Infatuation is the feeling most people today equate with love. Infatuation will fade with time, though hopefully never go completely away.
Love is the decision one makes every day--no matter the presence of infatuation or not.
Excellent post; thank you.
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