Posted on 06/09/2021 1:14:00 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
SAN JOSE, CA—Local half-white, half-black man Michael Preston has been ordered to pay himself reparations since half his ancestors were oppressed and half were oppressors.
"Wait -- what?" he said after he received a letter from Governor Gavin Newsom's office informing him he owed himself over $25,000. "Uh... OK? I guess?" He then went down to the bank and ordered a transfer to himself. He was a little short of the total amount so made it in installments, sending himself several payments totaling the $25,000 amount he owes himself for his ancestors oppressing his other ancestors.
"We'd like to thank Mr. Preston for atoning for the guilt of his ancestors," said Governor Newsom. "Because of them, he has a unique place of privilege in life and has had a leg up on his fellow citizens, who are oppressed because of things that happened hundreds of years ago. Today, he has made that right. Well, until we ask for more reparations later. Frankly, it's never going to stop."
"We'd also like to congratulate Mr. Preston for receiving the reparations long overdue to his ancestors today," said Governor Newsom. "Because of what happened to them, he is in a unique place of oppression in life and has never been able to get ahead of his fellow citizens, who are far more privileged than him because of things that happened hundreds of years ago. Today, that wrong has been righted. Well, until we send him more reparations later. Frankly, it's never going to stop."
Preston has said he'll pay whatever to himself going forward as long as the state just leaves him alone and lets him live his life.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
The Bee never disappoints.
I will pay reparations as soon as Europe pays me reparations for enslaving my ancestors under feudalism and forcing them to flee to America to escape oppression.
I think it’ll be a while because Europe is run by a-holes.
I will pay reparations as soon as Europe pays me reparations for enslaving my ancestors under feudalism and forcing them to flee to America to escape oppression.
I think it’ll be a while because Europe is run by a-holes.
we all know that he would have to give reparations to the govt, and then they would give him 1/2 back (less 10% for the big guy of course)
I’m wondering what is next from the BABYLON BEE... I’m looking forward to it. 👍
ROFLMAO !!!
If they were really on top of their game they would have identified the man as Barack Obama.
Dont forget blacks and muslims from africa would spends hundreds of years raiding european coastal areas for goods and taking whites as slaves.
Lets start discusing this.
LOL!
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