Posted on 04/15/2021 1:22:52 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Asking someone to wear a mask is so 2020. The new tough conversation is finding out about someone's COVID-19 vaccination status. Experts say the way you ask matters, including your tone, sincerity and choice of words.
But for starters, it shouldn't be a random question, says Elaine Swann, an etiquette expert and founder of the Swann School of Protocol. After all, it is personal information that usually isn't any of your business — unless you plan on letting the person into your personal space. And even then, a more private person still may not want to disclose their status. So what do you do? It helps to begin by asking yourself why you want to know in the first place.
Advertisement If your main reason is to assess your risk of COVID-19, then you should know that just because someone is vaccinated doesn't mean you'll be 100% safe.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) says that if a person is vaccinated, you still need to continue most of your COVID-19 safety practices, including washing hands and wearing a mask when you're in public.
That means you don't really have a reason to be asking strangers.
"I don't think we should ever get to the point where you're asking someone in the grocery store lines what their vaccination status is," Swann says. "This type of question is more reserved for individuals that you plan on spending time with."
So if you feel the need to know, because you're thinking of inviting a person into your home or you're at a gathering where people are not wearing masks, you should keep a few important things in mind:
1. Consider your tone. "Having a non-judgmental and matter-of-fact tone is important when asking a person about their COVID-19 vaccination status," says Haley Neidich, LCSW, a psychotherapist in Tampa. If you come off defensive while asking, you will receive a defensive response. This is true in any form of questioning, Swann notes, adding that you should also avoid an accusing tone.
Instead, take a curious and inclusive approach to your inquiry. "A way to do this while also softening the blow is to reveal your vaccination status first and then ask the other person how they feel about it or what their plans are," Swann explains.
This will spark a more natural and organic conversation, making a person feel more comfortable revealing their vaccination status.
This September 2020, file photo provided by Johnson & Johnson shows a pharmacist preparing to give an experimental COVID-19 vaccine.Your guide to every COVID-19 vaccine question 2. Choose words wisely. Just like you should keep your tone in check, you should also put thought into the words you choose when asking about someone's vaccination status. Neidich says vaccine conversations shouldn't be tense — they should be direct but judgment-free and sincere. So instead of simply asking, "Are you vaccinated?" break the ice by saying, "I hope you don't mind me asking..." It can also help to state why you want to know. You could say something like, "Are you comfortable with sharing your vaccine status with me? I'm nervous about being around people," or "If it's not too personal, can you share your vaccine status? I'm trying to navigate when to wear a mask. What are your thoughts?" This way, the person knows you're coming from a sincere place, rather than a nosy one.
3. Ask in private. If you want to come off in the least confrontational way, Neidich says asking over text is a great way to go. This will give the person time to process and react without the added pressure of being put on the spot. Still consider your word choices, though, and use phrases like "would you be willing to share?" and being open about whether you've been vaccinated.
However, if you're worried about your tone getting lost in translation, stick with a phone or in-person chat. "This will allow you to fully focus on the tone of your voice, which can make your questioning feel less intimidating to another person," Swann says.
However, she also notes that if you decide to ask in person, make sure to do it privately. "If you put someone on the spot in front of other people, it may not turn out well," Swann says. Wait until you are alone.
Stock photo of doctor preparing injection for vaccination in clinic.Many still hesitate to get vaccine, but reluctance is easing
4. Make your boundaries clear.
Another way to go about asking someone their COVID-19 vaccination status is by stating your rules and boundaries. This may be the least intrusive way to get answers because it leaves it up to the person whether to disclose their status or not.
For example, try a similar statement to Neidich's: "My family has been fully vaccinated and are doing our best to only expose ourselves fully to those who have also received the vaccine." Based on someone's response, you can then decide how you want to move forward. "This may mean canceling your plans completely or just indicating that you'll plan to wear a mask," Neidich says.
No one is obligated to tell you their COVID-19 vaccine status. So you need to be prepared to accept whatever response you get. "If a person does not tell you, immediately let it go. Do not push. Just drop it and respect their response," Swann says. You can also assume that an indirect or loaded response means they haven't been vaccinated or don't intend to be, Neidich adds. So, in any case, move on or adjust your plans accordingly.
Good point, maybe I’ll just fire back with some comment about the lines of, I know it’s a personal question, but I’m just wondering if you have aids/HIV in case you were to get cut and how I would react in treating you. Something tells me they wouldn’t like that.
Article needs to be rewritten and titled “ How to ask someone why they’ve been vaccinated with an experimental vaccine without making things awkward”. Its just as fair of a question as what they are asking.
I’m going to write an article entitled “How to Answer Nosy Bastards Asking you if You’ve Had The Experimental Vaccine”. It will list items such as: How this is a HIPPA violation and so forth.
My response: non of your blanking business, go away! Now I may volunteer the info., but anyone who asks me can GTH.
“Don’t talk to strangers...didn’t your parents teach you anything?”
Haha.
How about something like, “I hope you weren’t stupid enough to get that experimental vaccine that’s killing people!”
I think the rule of thumb should be if someone is not wearing a mask, they are vaccinated. No need to ask. Why else would they be without a mask unless they felt safe? ;)
Exactly.
As it should!
Rat #1: Have you taken the vaccination yet?
Rat #2: No, I’m waiting for the human trials to end.
Heard this “joke” on a video about SARS CoV-2 & COVID 19.
Believing anything the CDC has to says a fool’s mission.
I feel fairly comfortable saying anyone who tries that with me It’s probably someone I will have no desire to spend time with And realistically do not need in my life.
“including washing hands”
Unnecessary for Covid
I’ll be happy to tell people the truth when they ask if I have been vaccinated. The answer is “It’s none of your business”
You would think that sheep would be smart enough to realize if masks and social distancing are required in said pews regardless of if you had the vaccine, then maybe the vaccine isn’t making a damn difference.
What did they say? You brought it up?
So, if being vacced does not mean 100% safe; what’s the point?
If you ask me my status I’ll happily inform you that it’s none of your damn business.
Question one from now how, HOW MANY STDs have you had and how many do you currently have?
I tell em straight out - not going to get em! They respectfully look at me like I am stupid, and I return the favor! We remain friends!
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