[Fractal Trader]

Can't beat the headline!

[Extremely Extreme Extremist]

Well, I’m screwed.

[Fractal Trader]

Fake, but accurate?

[bray]

That explains a lot.

[Disambiguator]

Someone needs to invent an anti-phthalate. They would make a fortune!

[Pollster1]

That’s the plan.
They want to turn us all into democrats.

[lee martell]

Not Satire? This is just too much!

[equaviator]

If it seems like it’s too bad to be true then maybe it isn’t.

[dfwgator]

"I WAS WEARING A MASK!"

[sevlex]

“Can’t beat the headline!”

---

I see what you did there.

[DLfromthedesert]

So wear cloth masks. Better for breathing.

[I want the USA back]

So That’s the reason why they want us to put the damn masks on! Apparently too many babies were born during the shutdown, so now they want us to wear two masks! That’ll cut the birth rate even more!

[Jonty30]

So, how long do I have to wear the mask to make my penis just slightly bigger than average?

[House Atreides]

Ladies, do your future sons a favor and UNMASK!

“Prenatal exposure to phthalates is associated with decreased anogenital distance and penile size in male newborns”

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3862078/

[EEGator]

If I put my mask on inside out, will my penis grow?

[Reno89519]

Another Chinese plot?

[Jyotishi]

Getting unstuck made easy.

[snoopy 'n linus]

phthalates--remember Love Canal and all those contaminated water environmental issues?

[Repeal The 17th]

[Gulf War One]

Also, and inexplicably, the same chemical is thought to somehow cause an increase in the size of wristwatches.

[2111USMC]

O-k, where’s the line for filing suit?