Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Billions In Damages As Military Allows Women To Park The Tanks
Babylon Bee ^ | March 17th, 2021 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 03/18/2021 6:57:52 AM PDT by BBQToadRibs2

FORT BENNING, GA—Billions of dollars of military equipment were destroyed today after several women were asked to park the tanks, even though women are really bad at parallel parking.

"Whoops, that was a mistake," said Staff Sergeant Darrel Cruthers, who gave the order. "I told Specialist Casey, Specialist Smith, and Corporal Bradley to carefully park the tanks along the curb over there, but I forgot that was a bad idea due to them all being women. Lesson learned I guess."

According to witnesses, the three women kept moving forward and back again and again while scuffing up the curb and leaning out the hatch to say "sorry" to each other very politely. After smashing several cars and destroying 18 tanks, the women finally gave up and left sticky notes on the tanks apologizing to whoever would have to use them next.

The corporal and two specialists have since been reassigned to the airfield to park helicopters.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: satire; treadhead
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041 next last
To: BBQToadRibs2

Good satire always has elements of truth underlying it. Judging by the number of “woman driving fails” videos on YouTube, this article is not at all far fetched.


21 posted on 03/18/2021 8:25:17 AM PDT by Fresh Wind (Joe Biden: The best president Chinese money can buy.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Red Badger

#becauseroadkill

(the motortrend show)


22 posted on 03/18/2021 8:25:40 AM PDT by cableguymn (We need a redneck in the white house.... But the fact checkers said the story was false!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: BBQToadRibs2
If the Babylon Bee had been around during World War II, they could have run the following headline:

"Invasion of Normandy called off after female soldiers repeatedly tell CO "I'll be ready in a few minutes."

23 posted on 03/18/2021 8:27:36 AM PDT by GreenHornet
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: BBQToadRibs2; All
This reminded me a this guy I knew in college who went into the Marines.

At an alumni function 10 years after graduation, I ran into him again. He tells me this story about his unit doing night maneuvers on the shore of the Great Salt Lake in Utah.

It was a moonlit night and he was driving a tank. He made a left turn instead of a right turn and drove right into the lake. Sank the tank.

I never laughed so hard in my life. I always thought he was a doofus.

24 posted on 03/18/2021 9:14:13 AM PDT by HotHunt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: HotHunt

And the tank floated, right? LOL?


25 posted on 03/18/2021 9:25:51 AM PDT by nickcarraway
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 24 | View Replies]

To: BBQToadRibs2

I absolutely LOVE this one!!!


26 posted on 03/18/2021 10:00:07 AM PDT by Notthereyet (We're so angry we can spit pea pellets at a tree and drill the dang tree. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Red Badger

Tim Allen drives a tank.

Home Improvement Tim Drives a Tank
https://youtu.be/LEA0wDZlNqw?t=117


27 posted on 03/18/2021 10:05:25 AM PDT by minnesota_bound (I need more money. )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: SMARTY

“Flying one of those .... women may lend a whole new perspective to ‘carpet bombing’”

“Flying by the [bleep] of your pants.”

It’s early for me, I’ll get better.


28 posted on 03/18/2021 10:22:40 AM PDT by PLMerite ("They say that we were Cold Warriors. Yes, and a bloody good show, too." - Robert Conquest )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Sirius Lee

29 posted on 03/18/2021 11:02:40 AM PDT by Daffynition (*Mega Dittoes and Mega Prayers* & :))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 18 | View Replies]

To: toast

Sounds like he has the *right stuff*.
Perhaps The Space Force is in his future. :)


30 posted on 03/18/2021 11:07:37 AM PDT by Daffynition (*Mega Dittoes and Mega Prayers* & :))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]

To: BBQToadRibs2

Mrs D thought it was funny... (but she is a Conservative woman, so she thinks jokes are funny). BB is true again...


31 posted on 03/18/2021 11:55:30 AM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (Rest In PEACE, Rush H. Limbaugh III. You are missed already...)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

No, it sank!


32 posted on 03/18/2021 12:07:28 PM PDT by HotHunt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: antidemoncrat

Pregnant women no less.


33 posted on 03/18/2021 12:08:48 PM PDT by 1956tbyrd
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: HotHunt

Does something like that derail your military career?


34 posted on 03/18/2021 12:19:23 PM PDT by nickcarraway
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 32 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

“Does something like that derail your military career?”

Destroying entire jets didn’t harm McCain’s military career, IIRC.


35 posted on 03/18/2021 12:20:21 PM PDT by MayflowerMadam (Just because you're offended doesn't mean you're right.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: MayflowerMadam
What exactly did he do?

I guess it depends on what he did, but also his father was an admiral.

36 posted on 03/18/2021 12:27:56 PM PDT by nickcarraway
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 35 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

No doubt. He didn’t stay in the Marines but he wouldn’t have gone anywhere if he had.


37 posted on 03/18/2021 12:48:06 PM PDT by HotHunt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 34 | View Replies]

To: HotHunt

Actually, he may have been perfect for the Marines. He took a land vehicle and made it into a marine vehicle.


38 posted on 03/18/2021 12:56:10 PM PDT by nickcarraway
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: Governor Dinwiddie

I can parallel park pretty well!
What I can’t do is parallel park or back up any vehicle
that is hauling a trailer behind it.


39 posted on 03/18/2021 3:00:51 PM PDT by MS.BEHAVIN (Women who behave rarely make history)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 10 | View Replies]

To: nickcarraway

I don’t think so. I wouldn’t want to rely on this guy to protect my back. He was a doofus and still is the last time I saw him. You don’t want guys like this in the Marines.


40 posted on 03/18/2021 3:08:24 PM PDT by HotHunt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 38 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson