[sodpoodle]

lawyers are not allowed to post comments!!!!

[Red Badger]

The lawyer is still breathing....................

[ryderann]

Due to my life-experiences, I saw that one coming.

[cyclotic]

At church yesterday, the sermon was about the section in I Corinthians with guidance about Christians suing each other over light and transient causes.

One of our deacons was chosen to give the sermon. He’s a lawyer and enjoyed the irony.

[A Formerly Proud Canadian]

A heartwarming story about a lawyer. I thought it might have been about a cruise ship, loaded with lawyers, sinking with all passengers lost.

[kaehurowing]

What, he didn’t even bill them for his advice?!?

[AF_Blue]

This one is special to me, because I have friends with an engineer son, who's school paid for his ride to get his PhD, and a lawyer daughter, who passed the bar in two states, to keep her options open:

An Engineer dies and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements.

After a while, Hell has air conditioning, ice water, flush toilets, and escalators, and the Engineer is a pretty popular guy.

One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how are things going down there?"

Satan says, “Why, things are going great. We've now got air conditioning, ice water, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this Engineer is going to come up with next!"

God is horrified. "What? You've got an Engineer? That's clearly a mistake – he should never have gone down there! You know all Engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here immediately!"

Satan says, "No way, I really like having an Engineer on the staff. I’m keeping him."

God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue you."

"Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a Lawyer?"

[Phlap]

What do you call 100,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.

[Secret Agent Man]

hmm i thought it would be 1300 lawyers at the bottom of a lake

[~Peter]

Difference between and lawyer and a prostitute?

** Prostitutes stop screwing you when you’re dead.

[sima_yi]

I have good news and bad news. The bad news is Martians exist, and have landed here on Earth.

The good news is that they eat lawyers and piss gasoline.

[The Great RJ]

When my son was in law school, a window washer sadly fell and crashed through the atrium at theIDS Tower in Minneapolis. The building houses numerous law firms. I asked my son how many lawyer’s business cards did he think were in the victim’s hand before the paramedics arrived.

[CodeToad]

It’s only a heartwarming story if the lawyer dies.