I don't see "Monkey Shoulder Whisky" on that list, either, for developing those young and limber shoulders, to facilitate a longer lifespan, and a more youthful and healthful style of swinging through the trees and bushes.
Why isn’t beer on the list?
Beer is there. #25. You just have to drink Stout all day to see the benefits.
I would recommend gin. Back in my drinking days, a few martinis would be all it took to make me the best looking guy in the bar.