Posted on 12/15/2020 4:48:05 PM PST by Cecily
A budding rapper and father to five children died after a window of a home he was trying to burglarize collapsed onto his neck, leaving his body dangling outside of the house, according to sheriff’s deputies.
Jonathan Hernandez, 32, was trying to burglarize a home in the southwestern Florida town of Lehigh Acres on Saturday when the fatal accident occurred, investigators said.
As Hernandez scaled the wall of the home, he opened a window and was in the process of climbing through when it slammed down onto his neck, according to the Lee County Sheriff’s Office.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
Wouldn’t that make him, “well hanged”?
;^D
With apologies to E.A. Poe:
Twas a rapper who was rapping, one who came a tap, tap tapping
Looking to abscond with my junk, in the window he explored.
He came with teeth gold and gapping, quietly, all armed and strapping, hoping to make off with all my loot and stuff galore
Then the window, it came clapping, round his neck it went a-capping. Nailed the rapper who was rapping, bout the stuff he would secure.
Died the rapper who lay rapping, rapping his last lines some crapping, ‘bout some heroes who the ‘hood remember as their saint for sure.
Only stupid ‘hood-born rappers, forget that windows can come slapping when pried open by dumb rappers, windows left quite unsecured.
Now they’ll sing a song about him, sing his praise, and come to laud him as a sainted thief who now lies ‘pon my blood-stained, rap-stained floor.
Once he was a jail-bound loser, now he is a saintly ‘cuser of society that chooses to their windows not secure.
Soon the BLM hordes will a-march on, protest with their chants and masks on, scream and shout and get their “loot” on for the rapper they adore.
For this sainted rapper’s ending will cause every white knee bending, to the unfair rapper’s sending to the place where rap’s no more.
If we haven’t been paying to support his family, we do now.
Only if he was a Microsoft programmer. Mac and Linux don’t count.
Only if he was a Microsoft programmer. Mac and Linux don’t count.
#6. Well, at least we can say that the rapper was “well hung”, just like the window.
Or as Clint Eastwood said in one movie when he harpooned a bad guy into the wall of a small wharf hut, “Hang around”.
What a waste of a life!
To self. I think it was Arnold Schwarzenegger, not Eastwood.
The woman was probably Patricia Clark, first seen in “Ninja Turtles”.
Harpoons - the only thing that will stop both Rosie O’Donnell and Stacey Abrams.
Trader Joe’s also!
I know! I hope it doesn’t cost too much to replace the window.
I just hope there was no nasty mess to clean up.
Clown looks as though he has the IQ of a dog turd.
“And just like that, there was no more Qanon.”
Good point. ‘Trust the plan’ now seems that it was put out by the left to ‘pacify’ us, or at least a hard-core portion of us. And it worked.
Well, there's always the USPS...
While I don’t recommend that wrappers go as far as this guy did, his career and the fortunes of his woke wife and children are about to take a turn for the better (although it’s preferable to be shot gangland-style, as the best road to legitimacy in that business).
So sad...
Just too funny....5 kids...he need to steal....could not happen to a better man....tough shitsky.....must be a DemoRat.
Just too funny....5 kids...he need to steal....could not happen to a better man....tough shitsky.....must be a DemoRat.
“THAT is the ONLY thing you have EVER posted that was funny or made sense.”
dammmmmmm, you made me scroll back about fifty posts just to find it.
:)
“Darwin award candidate.”
Nope. Five kids.
i heered he said “Dat one, and dat one, and dat one and dose odder two, nun of them mine!”
yeah, shoot me.
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