Posted on 11/20/2020 6:40:40 AM PST by sodpoodle
An Irishman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his phone . He orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Irish baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the man just shrugs, "That's about average up our way, folks... like I said my boy's a typical County Clare baby boy."
Two weeks later the man returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say, aren't you the father of that typical Irish baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth? Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks ... so how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? You said he was 25 pounds the day he was born."
The father takes a slow swig of his Jameson Irish Whisky, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had him circumcised."
LOL
Outstanding!!!
That’s about right too. I’ve got two Irish boys.
“Man this water is cold!”
“Yeah, it’s deep too!”
“Rocky bottom.”
L
Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
thanks! I needed a good laugh.
very good! Gave me a nice chuckle.
An Irishman and a Jew walks into a bar.
A white guy is in a bar restroom using the urinal and looks over and sees a black guy whizzing with a huge member. The black guy sees him peeking and says, ‘Big, huh?’
The white guy is amazed and asks how ‘you people’ get so big.
The black guy says, well its a secret but I will tell ya. I tie a rope to it and dangle a brick at the other end and it stretches it out over time. The brick is in my boot so no one sees it.
A few weeks later the two meet again in the restroom and the black guys asks if he tried the stretching technique and how it was working.
The white guy says, ‘It is working great! It has only been two weeks and already it has turned black!’
Can't wait to hear the end of this one. Cage match? Two men walk in, only one walks out?
Paddy took 5 min. to walk to the pub, but 3 hrs to walk back. The difference is staggering.
So this baby seal walks into a club...
After a few beers he went to the restroom. Standing beside him was a black fellow, but the man noticed something unusual about him.
Upon returning to his seat, he asked the bartender about the black guy. He said, "What do you know about him? He's black, but his penis was white".
The bartender replied, "Oh, that's O'Malley. He's a coal miner, and just got back from his honeymoon".
A millennial and a boomer were talking at work and the subject got around to the millennial who just couldn’t seem to attract any girls.
The boomer looked the kid over, noticing he wore close fitting pants.
“You should put a potatoe in your pants” the boomer said.
“A potato?” The kid asked.
The boomer nodded.
A few days later the millennial told the boomer his suggestion wasn’t working.
The boomer looked at the kid then let out a huff of air, “Try putting the potato in the front”
A guy walks into a bar with 2 black eyes and orders a beer.
The bartender says, “wow, 2 black eyes. How’s that happen?”
“II was in line at the bank this morning and I couldn’t help notice the lady in front of me had a serious wedgy. I had a hard time getting it outta my mind and before I knew it, I reached down and pulled it out. Well, she spun around and hit me below this eye” he said pointing to his right eye.
“Yeah but both eyes are black” said the bartender.
“Well yeah, I felt so bad. People were starring. I wanted to make it right so I I took my finger and pushed it back in the way it was “
He may not have much but he’ll be proud of every foot of it!😎
How many Irish men does it take to change a light bulb?
5. 1 to hold the bulb and 4 to drink till the room spins.
My Irish dad hated that joke.
OMG... you own me a new monitor..
“Iceberg, Goldberg, what’s the difference”
That's right, because it's the 90% you *don't* see. ;)
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