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Hard-Working Plumber Looking Forward To Paying For His Neighbor’s Gender Studies Degree SATIRE
Babylon Bee ^ | November 17, 2020 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 11/19/2020 12:15:32 PM PST by gattaca

PADUCAH, KY—With Democrats proposing the mass cancellation of student debt, successful Americans around the country are really looking forward to paying taxes to relieve the debt of people who purchased expensive yet useless college degrees. One local plumbing contractor, Sam Caughorn, is really looking forward to paying the tab on his neighbor's $89,000 gender studies degree.

"Listen, I'm just a plumber," he said. "I didn't go to college, but I work hard and support my family. I don't know about all that high-falutin gender stuff they teach in college, but I'm sure it must be important since it's so expensive! Happy to help out another person in need."

According to studies, there are millions of white girls working at coffee shops across the country while struggling under the crushing student debt they acquired by irresponsibly obtaining college degrees that gave them no marketable job skills. Benevolent politicians have proposed transferring all the wealth from trade workers and minority business owners to help indebted white girls with their student loans so they can still afford their daily latte and cat food expenses.

Local gender studies major Amber White is looking forward to having all her debt forgiven, thanks in part to the contributions of plumbers like Sam Caughorn. "I'm so thankful for the generosity of our Democrat leaders!" she said. "They really look out for the little folx. Also, down with capitalism and white men!"

According to sources, Sam Caughorn owns a successful business he started right after high school. He also has 5 kids, a nice house, and serves as a deacon at his church. "I guess I can spare some change for poor disadvantaged girls like Amber," he said.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee

1 posted on 11/19/2020 12:15:32 PM PST by gattaca
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Comment #2 Removed by Moderator

To: gattaca

One of their best. Twitter must be in meltdown mode.


3 posted on 11/19/2020 12:41:30 PM PST by Basket_of_Deplorables (This is all a Soros funded communist insurrection! )
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To: All
......there are millions of white girls working entry-level jobs at coffee shops, still struggling under
crushing student debts, after obtaining college degrees that gave them no marketable job skills........

Getting a post-graduate degree in "Quinoa Changed My Life" sounded like a good idea, at the time.

4 posted on 11/19/2020 12:47:09 PM PST by Liz (Our side has 8 trillion bullets; the other side doesn't know which bathroom to use. )
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To: Liz

I am grateful all of you are going to chip in and pay off my college debt. /s


5 posted on 11/19/2020 1:07:22 PM PST by EQAndyBuzz (Want to know what Cloward-Piven is? Ask me.)
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To: gattaca

Babylon Bee has some Great satire ...love it ..


6 posted on 11/19/2020 2:51:35 PM PST by ConservaTeen (Dems can't win fairly, so they have to cheat! Election reform NOW!!!)
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To: ConservaTeen

It’s great because it rings true. This already happens because taxpayers subsidize student loans. If Biden wipes out student loan debt, it’s unfair to all working stiffs.


7 posted on 11/19/2020 6:10:54 PM PST by Pining_4_TX (I'm old enough to remember when you actually had to be able to do something to be hired to do it.)
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To: gattaca; 100American; al baby; Allegra; BufordP; dp0622; EveningStar; Gefn; GunsareOK; JRios1968; ..

How good-hearted of him!

DANG!


8 posted on 11/20/2020 12:30:43 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Hope is not a plan. -- Matthew Bracken)
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