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A cowboy from Texas attended a social function where Barack Obama was trying to
gather support for his re-election.?? When Obama discovered the cowboy was from
President Bush’s home area, he started to belittle him by talking in a southern
drawl and single syllable words.
As he was doing that, he kept swatting at some flies that were buzzing around his head.??
The cowboy says, “Y’all havin’ some problem with them circle flies?”
Obama stopped talking and said, “Well, yes, if that’s what they’re called,
but I’ve never heard of circle flies.”
“Well, sir,” the cowboy replies, “Circle flies hang around ranches.??
They’re called circle flies because they’re almost always found circling around the
back end of a horse.”
“Oh,” Obama replies as he goes back to rambling.?? But a moment later he stops and
bluntly asks, “Are you calling me a horse’s a$$?”
“No, sir,” the cowboy replies, “I have too much respect for the citizens of this
country to call their president a horse’s a$$.”
“That’s a good thing,” Obama responds and begins rambling on once more.
After a long pause, the cowboy, in his best Texas drawl says,
“Hard to fool them flies, though.”

Murphy, a furniture dealer from Dublin, decided to expand the line of furniture in his store,
so he decided to go to Paris to see what he could find.
After arriving in Paris , he visited with some manufacturers and selected a line that he
thought would sell well back home. To celebrate the new acquisition,
he decided to visit a small bistro and have a glass of wine.
As he sat enjoying his wine, he noticed that the small place was quite crowded,
and that the other chair at his table was the only vacant seat in the house.
Before long, a very beautiful young Parisian girl came to his table,
asked him something in French (which Murphy could not understand),
so he motioned to the vacant chair and invited her to sit down.
He tried to speak to her in English, but she did not speak his language.
After a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he took a napkin and drew
a picture of a wine glass and showed it to her.
She nodded, so he ordered a glass of wine for her.
After sitting together at the table for a while, he took another napkin, and drew a
picture of a plate with food on it, and she nodded.
They left the bistro and found a quiet cafe that featured a small group playing romantic music.
They ordered dinner, after which he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. She nodded, and they got up to dance. They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing up.
Back at their table, the young lady took a napkin and drew a picture of a
four-poster bed. To this day, Murphy has no idea how she figured out he was in the
furniture business.

The gal from California was on a road trip and stopped in for a drink in Cody, Wyoming. She ordered a beer at the bar and looked at the older guy next to her and said “Wow - are you a real Cowboy?”

Why yes, I suppose I am. Not like the Old West, but I spend enough time on a horse, I round up cattle in the spring and brand them like they did 100 years ago. Of course I drive a truck to fix the fences and take care of the irrigation ditches. Go to sleep at night thinking about the cows and the ranch and the fence and the chores. So yeah - I’m a cowboy. How about you?”

“Oh - well I’m a lesbian.”

“Huh - what’s that?”

“Well - I like women. I like how they smell. I like how they feel. I like their hair. I go to sleep at night and think about women!”

“Huh. Well then - I guess then I’m really a lesbian cowboy!”

A lady owned a dog. She was afraid the dog was going deaf. She took the dog to a vet. The doctor ran a test. Then the doctor got a small pair of scissors and removed lots of excess hair from inside the dogs ears. Then the doctor took and ointment and rubbed it inside the dog’s ears to remove excessive hair.

The doctor said “Ma’am, this ointment is expensive. Just go to the drug store, get some Nair hair removal, and use this on your dog’s ears occasionally.

The lady goes to the drug store and picks up some Nair. As the pharmacist is ringing it up, he says “Now when you use this on your legs, avoid wearing hose and socks for a couple of days because they will irritate your skin.” She says “I’m not going to use it on my legs.” The pharmacist says “When you use this under your arms, avoid using anti-perspirant because it will irritate your skin.” She said “I’m not going to use it under my arms.” The pharmacist said “Where are you going to use it?” She said “On my Schnauzer.” He said “Okay. Avoid riding a bike for a couple of days.”