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Why Men Hate Going to Church
9 Marks ^ | Mar 2010 | Jamie Dunlop

Posted on 08/03/2020 1:11:21 PM PDT by CondoleezzaProtege

Why Men Hate Going to Church, by David Murrow, explores the elements of American church life that discourage attendance and engagement of men.

His conclusion? Churches have shifted toward a style that is comfortable for the stereotypical woman—at the expense of the stereotypical man. And by men, Murrow is referring to masculine men: high achievers, alpha males, risk takers, visionaries...

Murrow points to four categories of church elements that clash with the temperament of most unchurched men.

1. Church makes men feel uncomfortable because it emphasizes feminine values

For example, sentimental songs that celebrate the intimacy of relationship with Jesus Christ bring a more feminine style of worship...

2. Church forces men to do things that they find uncomfortable

From asking men to sing in public, to sermons that are longer than the space between television commercials...

3. Men assume that church will require them to give up masculine traits

Murrow lists a number of men’s misconceptions about what they must give up to become part of a church. They assume church will make them “dorky” and “nerdy”—the equivalent of the evangelical Christian Ned Flanders from the Simpsons cartoon.

4. Church does not present a compelling model of leadership

One assumption that underlies much of Murrow’s thinking on leadership is that “If men are to return to Christ, they need strong, godly laymen to help them in their walk . . . For too long we have asked men to follow our teaching, our methods, and our theology. Men do not follow these things. I’ll say it again: men follow men.” It is difficult to argue with the premise that visionary leaders are the source of much change in this world. As a result, Murrow castigates the church for its inability to inspire men to greatness.

(Excerpt) Read more at 9marks.org ...


TOPICS: Religion; Society
KEYWORDS: christian; christianity; church; masculine; masculinity; men
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To: metmom
who made a whip of cords and drove the money changers out of the Temple on two occasions
Most likely exposing my ignorance here, but two occasions? I read of one... please help me out here...
81 posted on 08/03/2020 5:07:21 PM PDT by Horkster (NFL: Not For Long, or is it No Fans Left?)
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To: CondoleezzaProtege

I often hear brethren referring to “going to church” as going to meet with the Lord. Singing hymns, wonderful. Praying, essential. Fellowship with believers, encouraging. Listening to the preaching/teaching of the word of God, edifying/convicting/necessary for Christian growth. Spending time with the Lord by seeing Him in all these activities, life itself. Real men are only real, only alive, as they are being conformed into His image. God does a good deal of this work through the corporate gathering of His people in local assemblies of believers (churches).

Real men love church, do church, are church.


82 posted on 08/03/2020 5:21:07 PM PDT by MarDav
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To: KevinB

Well, the Bible is the source of the whole concept of the church, but never mind.


83 posted on 08/03/2020 5:38:39 PM PDT by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: TomServo

Lol. That was my first thought too. At 56 yrs old, it doesn’t make sense to me to put in the effort and go thru the motions of trying to stay on the Christian path if I’m not actually progressing in my faith.


84 posted on 08/03/2020 5:41:16 PM PDT by 82nd Bragger (Count to four except when in a helicopter)
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To: Jim W N
Well, the Bible is the source of the whole concept of the church, but never mind.

Yes, that makes my point. I'm not being critical of your views at all. Everyone needs to figure out their own way of getting through this life. What works for one person does not necessarily work for another. I've enjoyed our discussion. Have a great evening.

85 posted on 08/03/2020 6:04:53 PM PDT by KevinB (Quite literally, whatever the Left touches it ruins.)
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To: KevinB

The truth is, you are not your own my FRiend. You said it yourself - the Bible contains truth. Truth is not subject to man’s opinion.


86 posted on 08/03/2020 6:14:34 PM PDT by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: Jim W N
The Bible doesn’t “contain” the truth, it is the truth.
87 posted on 08/03/2020 6:21:09 PM PDT by MarDav
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To: Horkster

I was under the impression one was earlier in His ministry than the one where it happened near the end.

Perhaps the way the gospels were written is what confused me.


88 posted on 08/03/2020 6:25:41 PM PDT by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith....)
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To: Jim W N

I thought I respectfully ended our discussion. Apparently, I was wrong. Your view of the truth is no more valid than mine. The notion that Noah built an arc and put two of every animal on it or that Moses parted the sea is no less ridiculous than the notion that every Muslim who kills an infidel will have 72 virgins waiting in heaven. If your fantasies carry you through, good for you. I’ll find religion where I find it and you find it where you find it.


89 posted on 08/03/2020 6:29:05 PM PDT by KevinB (Quite literally, whatever the Left touches it ruins.)
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To: KevinB

OK, so you said the Bible contains truth. What truth?

You don’t have to continue this if you don’t want to, but I think these are questions worth pondering.


90 posted on 08/03/2020 6:31:45 PM PDT by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: Jim W N

Oh, and I never said the Bible contained the truth. I said it’s largely a work of fiction. I will acknowledge that it contains much wisdom, however. Wisdom is different than facts. I do not believe one needs to participate in organized religion, i.e. go to church, to be a Christian. If fact, I believe organized religion is largely a scam.


91 posted on 08/03/2020 6:34:58 PM PDT by KevinB (Quite literally, whatever the Left touches it ruins.)
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To: CondoleezzaProtege

The Satan-driven author knows nothing of me or my church. Or any real Christ centered church.


92 posted on 08/03/2020 7:27:04 PM PDT by Some Fat Guy in L.A. (Still bitterly clinging to rational thought despite its unfashionability)
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To: CondoleezzaProtege

My husband is highly intelligent and masculine and a wonderful father. He goes to Church quite willingly has served as an elder and been a wonderful example for our children. real men go to Cburch. As does our son the pastor of a large congregation


93 posted on 08/03/2020 7:31:37 PM PDT by Mom MD
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To: Ouchthatonehurt

I’m a man and I’m devoted to the traditional Latin Mass. What I hate are insipid novus ordo get-togethers which are not a worship of God but a celebration of man.


94 posted on 08/03/2020 8:35:29 PM PDT by nd76
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To: nd76

Most all real men would agree with you.
The Church has been under siege for the past century.
I have at least six Catholic churches in my immediate area but I travel 45 minutes each Sunday to attend Mass because that parish has what I know to be a holy priest.
We must preserve.


95 posted on 08/03/2020 8:46:10 PM PDT by Ouchthatonehurt
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To: Fiji Hill

Love me some Fanny Crosby.

Big fan of Isaac Watts as well.


96 posted on 08/03/2020 9:16:47 PM PDT by sauropod (I will not comply.)
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To: Some Fat Guy in L.A.
What are you so butt hurt about? The author didn't say your church, but there is a lot of truth in what he is saying "in general".

One reason (of many) why I stopped going to the Catholic Church is the change to holding hands during the Lord's Prayer. Sorry, I'm a dude, and I don't want to hold hands with some other dude (or even a random lady for that matter) for the length of that prayer.

A lot of the music is feminized clap trap. Give me a "Ave Maria" any day.

97 posted on 08/03/2020 9:26:03 PM PDT by Pappy Smear
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To: CondoleezzaProtege

Not buying it.


98 posted on 08/04/2020 2:56:12 AM PDT by trebb (Don't howl about illegal leeches, or Trump in general, while not donating to FR - it's hypocritical.)
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To: SamAdams76; ConservativeMind; ealgeone; Mark17; fishtank; boatbums; Luircin; mitch5501; MamaB; ...
There was a ritual in the 1980s that Catholics put in place (sign of peace?) that involved you holding or shaking hands of everybody around you

Former altar boy, CCD teacher and lector here, and the whole Mass is a ritual, centered upon a corruption of the Lord's supper in which the unity of the body of Christ via His death is to be manifest, and the "Peace be with you" was just one of the perfunctory professions that was a poor substitute for real unity of the Spirit via regeneration. But such superficiality much abounds in Protestantism also.

99 posted on 08/04/2020 4:22:59 AM PDT by daniel1212 (Trust the risen Lord Jesus to save you as a damned and destitute sinner + be baptized + follow Him)
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To: SamAdams76

There was a ritual in the 1980s that Catholics put in place (sign of peace?) that involved you holding or shaking hands of everybody around you during a prayer or hymn which just did not sit well with me. I kind of faded from the church scene after that. Doesn’t make me any less of a Christian however.
= = = = = = = = = =
I remember that VERY WELL.
I had been ‘away’ since late 50s and some 30 years later had been talking to a Priest and he ‘convinced’ me to try again and I had told him I had married ‘out of the church’ he said bring her for instruction and I told him no way I would even suggest it, eventually he heard ‘my confession’.

Had my FIRST shock on Day 1
First a ‘civilian’ tried to serve me Communion.
Then a ‘bell rang’ and all stood and the guy next to me held out his hand and indicated he wanted to shake and hug.

That with Masses in Latin no where ‘near’ convinced me I had wasted the Priests AND MY time.

Like you say, doesn’t make me any less of a Christian as I still (basically) adhere to the lessons of the Nuns and Priests in 40s and 50s.


100 posted on 08/04/2020 4:38:30 AM PDT by xrmusn (6/98"HRC is the Grandmother that lures Hansel & Gretel to the pot")
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