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Atheists Launch No Lives Matter Movement (The Babylon Bee)
The Babylon Bee ^ | July 7 2020 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/07/2020 9:49:33 AM PDT by xp38

WORLD—A group of atheists, along with some agnostics, announced on Tuesday a new sociopolitical movement consistent with their worldview called No Lives Matter.

According to sources, organizers for NLM have planned numerous rallies to protest other rallies claiming that lives matter. The organization’s mission statement defines the group as “people motivated by the belief that all human lives are equally meaningless.”

“Since we are just random accidents of evolution, and our so-called moral truths are just biochemical reactions in our brain, no human lives, or any lives at all, actually matter,” said prominent atheist Richard Dawkins, speaking for NLM. “Anyone who says Black Lives Matter, or Blue Lives, or whatever lives, has to believe in a higher moral code given by a creator. You can’t say in one breath that lives matter, and in the next breath claim that God is a human invention and all truth is relative.”

“We’re just trying to be logically consistent,” he added.

The movement quickly fell apart, though, when leaders had trouble convincing followers that the No Lives Matter movement mattered.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: atheists; babylonbee; matter
This thread matters!
1 posted on 07/07/2020 9:49:33 AM PDT by xp38
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To: xp38

That’s a slogan I can get behind.


2 posted on 07/07/2020 9:50:40 AM PDT by PGR88
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To: xp38

Love the Bee


3 posted on 07/07/2020 9:53:20 AM PDT by silverleaf (Great Things Never Come from Comfort Zones)
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To: xp38

Eternal Lives Matter


4 posted on 07/07/2020 9:54:29 AM PDT by wolfman
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To: xp38

I think this movement can have Bohemian Rhapsody as a theme song. Not that it matters though.


5 posted on 07/07/2020 10:00:30 AM PDT by xp38
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To: PGR88

I also saw “No Lives Matter” followed by: “Cthulhu Fhtagn!”


6 posted on 07/07/2020 10:10:02 AM PDT by Kriggerel ("All great truths are hard and bitter, but lies... are sweeter than wild honey" (Ragnar Redbeard))
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To: xp38

The Babylon Bee Matters.

Far more than the MSM.


7 posted on 07/07/2020 11:03:32 AM PDT by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith....)
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.

Self-Euthanization is always their option.

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NLM - Plank of the Democratic Party now ?

.


8 posted on 07/07/2020 11:53:23 AM PDT by elbook
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