Posted on 05/22/2020 6:02:24 AM PDT by sodpoodle
A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE IN VANCOUVER READs: We will heel you We will save your sole We will even dye for you.
A SIGN ON A BLINDS AND CURTAIN TRUCK: “Blind man driving.”
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office: "Dr. Jones, at your cervix.”
In a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels.”
On a Septic Tank Truck : Yesterday 's Meals on Wheels
At an Optometrist's Office : "If you don't see what you're looking for, You've come to the right place.”
On a Plumber's truck : "We repair what your husband fixed.”
On another Plumber's truck : "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.”
At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee : "Invite us to your next blowout.”
On an Electrician's truck : "Let us remove your shorts.”
In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action.”
On a Maternity Room door : "Push. Push. Push.”
At a Car Dealership : "The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.”
Outside a Muffler Shop: "No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.”
In a Veterinarian's waiting room : "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!”
At the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted.”
In a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.”
In the front yard of a Funeral Home : "Drive carefully. We'll wait.”
At a Propane Filling Station: "Thank Heaven for little grills.”
In a Chicago Radiator Shop: "Best place in town to take a leak.”
And the best one for last…; Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck: “Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises
Bad boy!!!
Also “ be certain with your curtain;)
At the Michael Jackson clothing store. Boys pants half off.
Thank you for the humor!
In My Automotive Shop I had a sign that said:
In God We trust, All others Pay Cash...
And inside a Restaurant called Montana Mining Company. The Decor was like an old Western Mine. At the Hostess Station was a sign saying:
Please keep Your Children contained. Containers available on Request.
Pass Christian, MS
“Live, Boiled Crawfish”
Um...
Bookmark
ATTENTION:
All unattended children will be sold to the circus.
Old joke in the 60’s
At a Used Car Dealership :We stand behind every car,it’s the only way we can get it off the lot.
Sign in seed store near Hanover, PA: “Unattended children will be given a cup of espresso and a free kitten.”
Learned the hard way: 
Key West Florida, on a trash truck, back in the 60’s: WE CATER POLISH WEDDINGS
I’ve been in a couple of shops where they have this sign:
“All unattended children will be given a free kitten.”
I saw one that said: We're #1 in the #2 business
Local Septic truck in Black Block Letters, when you are behind him a a Stoplight “STOOL BUS”
We have a septic truck here with a painted back sign,
“Your shit is our bread & butter.”
Labor $75/hr
If you watch: $95/hr
If you worked on it first: $115/hr.
That’s for sure. Had a guy call one day and ask about rebuilding his V-12 Jaguar Engine so I gave him an ESTIMATE between $xxxx.xx and $xxxxx.xx and he said that he would let Me know. A few weeks later I have a Wrecker pull up to the Shop and the Owner was behind it. As it’s being unloaded the guy starts telling Me how complicated the engine is. I said yes they are. Then he says some stuff is in the trunk and the rest is in the backseat !!! I looked at him and asked if he took it apart ? He said yes. I told him that it was going to cost WAY MORE !!! He says but You gave me a “Quote” !!! I said No Sir I gave you an ESTIMATE. Long story short the Wrecker Driver didn’t leave the Vehicle with me.
Amen to that.
On a septic truck:
20.000 pounds of VERY gross weight
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