Posted on 03/20/2020 3:47:02 AM PDT by sodpoodle
GOD'S PLAN FOR AGING...
Most seniors never get enough exercise. In His wisdom, God decreed that seniors become forgetful so they would have to search for their glasses, keys and other things thus doing more walking. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God saw there was another need. In His wisdom, He made seniors lose coordination so they would drop things requiring them to bend, reach & stretch. And God looked down and saw that it was good.
Then God considered the function of bladders and decided seniors would have additional calls of nature requiring more trips to the bathroom, thus providing more exercise. God looked down and saw that it was good.
So - if you find as you age that you are getting up and down more, remember it's God's will. It is all in your best interest even though you mutter under your breath
Important Facts To Remember:
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky-panky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years - unless you give them your email address.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
I was thinking about something to this effect yesterday. Things are bizarre out there...and getting more so by the day.
Great advice and wisdom shared to our FRiends
Share? I’m outright stealing it.
The only thing keeping me from dying from sleep apnea is frequent night time bathroom calls.
God works in mysterious ways.
Hahahahahahahahaha! That explains a lot!!!
Thank you. Chuckles are in short supply lately.
Thank you!
Reality has been put through a wood chipper. A GOP President is not only talking about mailing everyone a check he is probably gonna actually do it.
Thanks all true, from an Old Geezer.
One word...”FloMax”.
I first heard #4 in 1961 on a comedy record album by Redd Foxx (later, star of Sanford and Son TV series). Been my motto ever since!
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.