Posted on 02/16/2020 8:03:42 PM PST by madison10
“Let her stay there. SHE did the hard job.”
So true! This sibling who took care of your parents deserves a royal crown (and will get one in heaven).
Thank you very much. I may reschedule/redefine the purpose of the forthcoming meeting. It would be just a month after my mom died and I am beginning to think we are rushing some things.
Without reading the details, on purpose, I’d say:
First, if the trust or will specifies an arrangement, do that. Otherwise:
Evaluate the total market share of the estate as if all was sold.
Determine each beneficiary’s share.
Offer, openly and simultaneously, for beneficiaries to exchange or exchange+buy in their share for the property.
If multiple parties express a wish to do so, afford them a chance to collaborate or otherwise come to an equitable arrangement. Your position is representing the estate and, if no happy arrangement is found, you must disperse the estate. Things are easiest if nobody plunges in or if one party does with no objection by others.
yup. and you’re welcome. and i’m praying for the best for you and your family.
I am caring for my 90yr old mom right now, hardest job I have EVER had in my life OMG some days it is hard to believe she is my mom!!! As they get older they become VERY mean and nasty I understand that they don’t feel well and find it hard getting older but GEEZE don’t take it out on your family!!! I have a brother but if he EVER came by to give me a break I would just fall over!! A daughters a daughter all of her life, a son is a son till he takes a wife!!! When my mom found herself not able to drive any longer I relocated changed jobs uprooted my entire life to take care of her and my dang brother lived in the same damn city as she does!!! Lived in her home first year BUT that was an impossible situation so I purchased a home 2 houses down when it went up for sale!! Taking care of an elderly parent so they can stay in their home and be comfortable is not an easy job, do whatever you can for your sibling!!
“The will/trust is not very detailed. It said a few general things, but boy it sure is open for interpretation.”
well,given the dilemmas you outlined, such ambiguity could be useful, but probably also potentially represents some real legal landmines ... personally, i can’t imagine a legal situation much worse than an ambiguous will ...
given all of the above, i suspect it’s imperative you consult with an attorney about this ambiguous will and the dilemmas you face ... the only silver lining in that is that the attorney expense would ordinarily be considered an expense of the estate ...
Consider this:
The will could have stipulated that the caretaker sibling be given the house / some property / etc. after death of parent.
But it did not.
Ergo, this burden is not yours, and to be honest, made up on your part (out of good will).
Sorry for your loss, and good luck sorting this out.
You’re concerned the sibling who took care of your parents - rather than getting a job, 401k, spouse, and a life - is owed something more than the money your parents gave her.
That has some merit.
Was she paid the same was a non-family member would have been paid? Nursing homes costs between three and ten thousand a month... did she offset the cost of nursing home care? There by making it possible for the property to stay intact rather than be sold by the State to cover nursing home costs?
I’m sorry about your loss - and I also understand why you’re parents chose you to work out the details.... You’re in my prayers madison.
You’re concerned the sibling who took care of your parents - rather than getting a job, 401k, spouse, and a life - is owed something more than the money your parents gave her.
That has some merit.
Was she paid the same as a non-family member would have been paid? Nursing homes costs between three and ten thousand a month... did she offset the cost of nursing home care? Thereby making it possible for the property to stay intact rather than be sold by the State to cover nursing home costs?
I’m sorry about your loss - and I also understand why your parents chose you to work out the details.... You’re in my prayers madison.
my dads secretary invited the lawyer over to the house for dinner after he had done some work for them, he billed them for those two hours and added a third hour for his travel time,that cost was around $1000. Don’t invite the lawyer to the bbq.
Condolences on the loss of your mother.
No advice here but there are good odds that by the time all is settled and done the family a-holes will have revealed themselves.
I think I would sell most of it but also keep some of it. Money from the sale could be used to fix things up & divide up what’s leftover.
Is there any chance of leasing the property for farming?
I agree. The caretaker should get the house.
The 4 of us split everything except the house.
My sister got it cus she took care of my parents.
After daddy died she moved in with our mom.
Forever grateful for my sister.
Daddy was not always easy to deal with.
It does sound complicated and
outside advise may open new possibilities.
My mother rents out the farm she inheirited, and has for almost 40 years. Same guy has farmed it all that time. He owns his own land as well, but has a big operation and farms rental lands as well.
Basic deal is Mom gets 1/3 of the crop, and puts up 1/3 of the planting costs.
You can split the rental income amongst your siblings.
Owning a farm is a good diversification.
My mother bought my grandparents ranch in Oklahoma even though most of our family was in other states. She talked herself into thinking it was an investment with mineral rights included. She also thought it would be there for any family who may have wanted to visit or do something with it. I thought I should not provide an opinion because it was her financial decision and I didn't want to be a greedy son. A few years later test wells were not successful and my mother sold it for a loss.
Find an equitable way to break it up and sell off the excess. Dreams of the past usually don't translate to unclarified dreams of the future.
There were other situations where my mother didn't make good decisions due to emotional reasons. Madison, don't be like my mother.
I’m in nearly the same situation, too. This thread has been helpful.
Posting before reading the replies so I may be behind the curve. Sorry for your loss. Prayers up for your family.
Is the farm owned free and clear? Is it near a metropolis such that it could be developed for a profit before sale?
A mortgage might buy some time and provide cash for repairs prior to selling. Maybe, a reverse mortgage?
Another possibility is to rent the farm to a farmer willing to work the land. It will at least buy you some time to decide what to do.
You want to help the sibling still living on the property? Subdivide his acres into a separate parcel before selling. Seek out professional help from a lawyer and a financial adviser.
Not sure where you are located, but do not forget about the minerals. They can be retained and an undivided interest can be allocated to each sibling or they can be sold with dirt.
You do not state what your parent's wishes were. Did they want the estate divided between all of their kids? IF so, why not just get it appraised, surveyed and deeded out to each kid. Then each kid can decide, to keep or sell.
If you cannot come up with more solutions than this, they you are way over your head. Best get some legal advise and use the rest of your family as sounding board. Do not do this in a vacuum.
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