I didn’t legally change my name, either, also for practical reasons. But I used my married name socially.
However, having a different legal name than my children always caused some confusion.
As for bank accounts, I now see the wisdom in keeping money separate. One woman told me her husband left without warning, but not before emptying all the accounts.
Wish I’d kept money separate. Then I would’ve had some money in savings when the divorce happened.
I would have changed my name if there had been children.
I’m sorry that you went through a divorce. When you think about it that way, maybe it is a good idea for each of a couple to have their own little ‘stash’ of money.
(In the most beneficent possible instance, you could buy each other secret presents :-)
Money is one of the things that my husband and I have never really argued over. We just ask each other if it’s ‘ok’ to buy something, and we both usually say ‘yes’.
Sometimes something comes up that seems extravagant, or for which it is the wrong time; and we reason it out.
(But I recall a day in the thrift store when I wanted a pristine, really cheap vacuum coffee maker - and he said ‘no’. He was more concerned with storing it than spending money on it, though...and I’ll get one someday :-)