Autopsy reveals cause of death for TobyMac's son (OD Fentanyl & Amphetamines)

http://www.bpnews.net ^ | 1/23/20 | Tess Schoonhoven,

[Dave W]

Thanks for the update....terribly sad.

[bramps]

From the song:

Why would You give and then take him away
Suddenly end. Could You not let it fade?
What I would give for a couple of days
A couple of days

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To me those lyrics would be more appropriate if his son was killed by in a car accident.

I fully realize I’m not in his shoes and your post made me think and watch myself as far as judging someone. I’m thankful for that. But I’ve seen parents today in very similar situations that keep their heads in the sand even as you try to tell them there is problem needing a serious dose of tough love. Even as their own actions lead their child to their own demise. And by making excuses or keeping blinders on, they tacitly encourage other parents to not confront their children (and the demons attacking them) and not do whatever it takes to stop this plague.

[Mama Shawna]

I’ve never heard of him. That was heart wrenching. I hope I never become part of that club.

[Albion Wilde]

Maybe you think he’s not accusing himself enough yet? Remove the speck, FRiend.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

[John S Mosby]

Nice. Professional commentary on what I see all the time. It wasn’t “accidental”, and this would NOT be the term used in COD determination forensically.

You miss the point, as expected. Incidentally God is capitalized and the He is never lower case.

[Dave W]

Asshole. Feel free to drone on about accidental some more. If I could actually hear you, you would probably be massively monotone while your students are accidentally overdosing just to be free from your lecture.

[bramps]

Maybe you think he’s not accusing himself enough yet? Remove the speck, FRiend.

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No. Just think he shouldn’t have written a song that makes it sound like the young man died from a car accident that no one saw coming and could have done something about.

Dang. That wasn’t the response I expected. Are adult conversations allowed here anymore? The lyrics ask God why he took his son away. Did you read what the young man had in his system? God didn’t take him or anyone else in that situation. And a situation that bad doesn’t sneak up on anyone. I lived the speck, my FRiend. And I dealt with it as I explained. With confrontational, tough love. Not blinders and not thinking it would go away without interaction. And I’ve seen it dealt with by others much differently with sad results. And I will continue to speak up rather than sing Kumbaya if I feel it is the right thing to do.

[Albion Wilde]

The speck I refer to is your indignant lecture.

You have judged the words of his still-raw grief as wrong, yet complained to me because I disagree with the harshness of your opinion.

It mattered so much to you that I, who have loved his music for decades, feel compassion for his loss as one parent to another, that you came back to assure me you are right! and that I must understand that he is wrong!

Looks like we disagree about that.

If any grown child of mine ended up dead from improvident choices without actual intent to kill himself, I might also be in a state of profound shock bordering on denial. The last thing that would increase my understanding is a pecksniffian lecture about how my first, horribly mournful elegy is theologically incorrect.

Give Toby Mac’s Christian audience credit for understanding the wild passion of grief. Any Christian parent would also be grappling with guilt; yet his son was a grown man; and as the lyrics also indicate, his son had admitted that he was “prodigal,” and had promised to reform; but he failed. Turns out he was imperfect — a miserable sinner like the rest of us.

If you have never been the family member of an addict (as I have been), you perhaps underestimate how grossly futile it is for the family to try to accomplish the addict’s recovery — only the addict can do that. And there are many drivers of addiction, including biochemistry, that are not attributable to poor parentlng. Yet you’ve piled on without really knowing what they’ve been through.

Have a little compassion for a grieving father. As the lyrics indicate, he knows he has barely begun; yet has four other children to support, one of whom is profoundly disabled, and needs to keep working. His gospel singing is his work. Who of us works perfectly at all times?

His grief will never be finished, and his theology and understanding of what went wrong with his son will mature over the years, but as a performing gospel artist, this is his just his initial response. If you weren’t a fan already, just don’t listen for his growth of understanding over the years to come, if you’re afraid it will never be good enough for you.

[mountainfolk]

Thank you for posting that song about the death of a son and the grief felt by the father. I am not at all acquainted with the careers and songs of anyone mentioned, but the name Toby Mac does sound familiar. The words of the song express the grief of loss and the expectation of a God and heaven that will take care of his son. Lovely words and so many of us are aware of the absolute desolation that comes from the death of a young or old person which should not have happened in the way it did. Addiction of any sort is destructive and often deadly and there is no comprehending why some humans do what they do. As for the money factor, why on earth should anybody care about that at all? Selling the song reaches more people that will benefit from finding solace in both reading the words and hearing it sung. God bless the family and comfort them all.

[Albion Wilde]

May God bless you as well, mountainfolk.