Posted on 01/23/2020 7:26:51 PM PST by nickcarraway
Stephen Walder spent £1,000 a week on cocktails of drink and cocaine
“In two 36-hour binges on my own I drank 112 cans of Red Stripe,” Stephen Walder confesses.
Spending £1,000 a week on his alcohol addiction - washed down with cocaine - was something he didn’t think twice about.
But he admits he “doesn’t know” how he is still alive after drinking can after can after can in his last ever binge.
From an innocent sip of cider at 13 he started regularly drinking pints of lager at 16 one or two nights a week.
But his habit soon spiralled to six or seven nights in a row and he would be the last one in the pub as time was called and the door was about to shut.
He admits himself he didn’t fully understand why he started to drink - both his parents were practically teetotal, only having a rare sherry of a lunchtime.
But a lack of confidence and fear of failure compounded his problems and led him to drink to numb the pain.
His arms still bear the scars of years of self-harm with the slash marks hidden away by long sleeved jumpers.
Now 18 months sober and living in Mumbles, he looks back at his mammoth drink sessions and is grateful to have survived it.
Stephen Walder spent £1,000 a week on booze and drank 112 cans of Red Stripe in his last two drinking sessions (Image: Media Wales) “Some weeks I would spend £1,000 on drinking and cocaine - I was being secretive about it,” he said.
“It comes before everything, I wouldn’t buy food.
“There was a week that all I ingested outside of drink was half a tube of toothpaste and a tub of margarine.
“I wasn’t going to stop until I killed myself, I did not think I worried about my health.
“As a kid it was a lager I would drink and after a day’s work I would go and have a couple of pints.
“When I got a reputation as a drinker I would play up to it. The main reason I would get out of bed was to have a drink.
He added: “I did not know about the dangers of alcohol withdrawal - I have never been so ill.
“It’s been a psychological addiction.
“That was what it felt like to deal with, you can have withdrawal following dependency and that is really tough.
“It’s self-inflicted but it’s not a choice someone makes - it’s been a rough ride.
“I badly self-harmed and it brought me to the brink.
“Two years ago I was in a downward spiral and had lost a beloved dog, I took all my anti-depressants in an attempt to take my life.”
Stephen, who is originally from Bromley in Kent, said he would “beg, borrow and steal” what he needed just to get a drink.
He revealed he hoped moving to Swansea in 2006 would help him turn his life around after his Christian parents decided to come to live in the city.
“I moved to Swansea to get away from the drinking and the drugs and I had mental health problems which exacerbated everything,” he said.
“I had a great upbringing and supportive parents but I always lacked confidence - the fear of failure became a thing that stopped me from achieving anything.
“On the weekends I would have a few cans a night.
“All of a sudden I would stay in the pub every night until it closed, I started prolonging that at 17 and 18.
“It would be six or seven nights a week, the weekends I would sit in the pub - it was a culture.
“There was always someone to have a drink with.
“It was a rite of passage, as I grew older I would continue to go to the pub.
“I had an emotional breakdown and a number of suicide attempts.
“It’s been a rough ride, when you are there and it’s the people around you suffering.
“You are blinkered and are in a self-spiral.”
He added: “The association of alcohol and anxiety - a sip of lager is an instant cure.
“The drinking helped me with a lack of confidence from my mid to late teens.”
But he knew in his heart and for the sake of his health he had to stop.
He said a supportive GP and help from city-based organisation Barod, which offers free and confidential support to anyone affected by drug or alcohol use, along with UK Smart Recovery, helped get his life back on track.
On a Wednesday morning he takes a group to help others suffering with alcohol addiction.
“I really didn’t like myself for a quarter of a century plus - but I am really positive now,” he said.
“I knew I needed to step off the drink and it has been 18 months since I have had a drink.
“It was something I needed to sort out - my life is just better without drink.
“The drink and the drugs were not helping my mental health, it was always to forget about things and the problems were still there.”
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Stephen said going to the pub has always been seen as normal but now he is able to walk through the door with his dog and can sit back and enjoy a pint of orange juice and lemonade and not even consider hitting the harder stuff.
His ordeal has led him to write his autobiography entitled The Day I Chose To Live, which is due to be made available later this year.
“I would go to Mind and a Smart Recovery meeting when someone said ‘Do you want to do something about this?’ and I started to go,” he said.
“For a quarter of my life I have been despondent but the story has a happy ending.”
I’m with you. Basically he was an alchy, nothing real special about his consumption except the pure volume. He should of hit the hard stuff,
This is true. The majority of those who attempt are looking for attention, or trying to punish someone.
As with the late poet Sylvia Plath, who may have once again, been trying to ‘punish’ her husband after discovering his infidelity.
Agreed. In my late twenties that would have been a fairly even challenge without the coke to keep going
I can remember more than a few times drinking far more alcohol than that over several days interspersed with 4 hour naps here and there but man those 2 and 3 day hangovers were a bitch
I quit cold turkey 4 yrs ago and my wife came back. Some days I wonder if it was a good idea but the urge to drink is gone. :)
112 cans of Red Stripe isn’t rock bottom. Get back to us when you resort to Michelob Ultra.
OMG. I gag at the thought.
Possibly her mother too. When she bashes her father in her poems, she really means her mother.
I thought this was going to be a story about Hunter Biden.
1000 a week? 850 of that was likly coke. Glad he found a way to stop that.
I’ve heard that story 100 times in A.A. meetings. We’re really not all that different. Details change. But the story is the same.
No. The idea was to be able to crash after 9 or 10 hours.
Guess this guy never hear of anonymity. It’s about principles over personality.
It’s the first drink that gets you drunk. Your brother would know what that means.
One of the heiresses to Desnoes and Geddes was a love of mine in the 80s
Kingston based they owned Red Stripe and a bunch of other Caribbean brands
Blonde and blue eyed
The Desnoes clan fled Haiti when the slave revolt started before the negroe slaves butchered all the whites man woman and child and most of the mulattoes as well except those who fled high to Kenscoff or to Jeremie etc
They started an ice factory from ammonium and an ice cream plant early 1800s before their lager.
Very profound family saga
She has a Columbia phd and is tenured at a major university in the sciences
112 beers in 36 hours? That’s nothing. Andre the Giant once drank 119 beers in 6 hours.
In socialist societies, nothing left to do but drink
One of my dad’s friends could do that or very close and be pretty much solid and sober.
The guy drank beer like most drink water but wasn’t a drunk.
He ran a small construction company and would put in the long days with his guys.
I have noticed you like telling us about all your girlfriends and your conquests. Sort of like Wilt Chamberlain, are you?
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