Posted on 01/22/2020 10:29:40 AM PST by Trump20162020
Mr. Peanut has passed away at the age of 104, Planters announced on Wednesday.
"It is with heavy hearts that we confirm that Mr. Peanut has died at 104," the announcement post reads.
(Excerpt) Read more at eonline.com ...
close the lid...
he’s done...
He was a shell of a man, but lately his mind was showing some cracks.
I’m suddenly reminded of the 1975 Mary Tyler Moore episode and eulogy for Chuckles the Clown.
But none are so fortunate as Mr. Clean. He’s a really big guy, always cleaning up the mess left by others. He will always be needed!
Better than getting blow up like the did to Jack. Well maybe.
I heard that his last words were, “I’ll be back in a Jif.”
That happened when hotshot new guys at Ford killed off the name Taurus. Next guy said "Let me get this straight. You killed off a brand known all over the world with generations of sales success, to make up some new jazzy names no one will know anything about? He brought back the Taurus line.
Big problem for Planters. Yes, new look with new labels and spicy organic flavors added, health snack blends and all that.
But the word Planters means a rich landowner forcing low wage peanut farm workers to do physical labor. AOC would say underpaid and exploited---if not capitalist modern slavery. Tobacco planters, cotton planters and of course peanut planters---each around a board table giving orders to shape markets and control wages and prices.
Sadly Mary Tyler Moore is not around to laugh at his funeral.
Ok, I have the scoop on the demise of Mr. Peanut direct from the mouth of Adam Schiff who also happens to be, by the way, a nut:
Turns out, they have Mr. Peanut on tape soliciting a female model. Ronan Farrow was about to crack the story. It was Weinstein all over again.
Even worse, the Russians put Mr. Peanut up to the entire thing and he colluded with them by having planters served in Trump hotels. Also. Mr. Peanut was photographed on the beach wearing a MAGA hat!!! Soon thereafter, he called the Ukraine and demanded an investigation of Joe Biden or else!!! Or else what, you ask? Why no more mixed nuts, that is what.
This entire thing was overheard by someone who told someone else about it. Even worse, it deeply offended the longtime office workers at Planters. They expressed their opinions to Schiff that something might be amiss with Mr. Peanut and based on what they heard from someone who hadn’t heard anything, Mr. Peanut was violating longtime company protocols.
Facing such intense pressure Mr. Peanut protested his innocence which is clearly an obstruction of his guilt for violating some unspecified thing. Even worse, Mr. Peanut dared to hire a lawyer which everyone knows you can’t do if you are so obviously guilty.
Facing that, Mr. Peanut conspired for off himself and take a couple of washed up actors with him.
Not to worry, Ms. Wokenut will replace Mr. Peanut with the promise of a more environmentally friendly, socially conscious attitude including kneeling every time she sees an American flag.
Italian-American ping!
One of the great memories of walking the Atlantic City Boardwalk in the 50s is of the Planters Peanut store, which had a mechanical Mr. Peanut at the front door cranking a peanut roaster around and around. You could smell the aroma for blocks before you arrived there to buy a brown paper bag of fresh hot roasted peanuts.
Sometimes they had a Mr. Peanut mascot walking around the boards:
Requiescat In Pace, Signore Obici!— il Signore Arachidi verache!
Wilkes-Barre, PA
Slightly off topic: I fell asleep during the Packers-49ers game, and when I awoke that new 911 show starring Rob Lowe was starting.
Left it on for ten minutes. OMG! The wokeiest piece of crap EVER! I know Rob Lowe is a big Democrat but I’m amazed he could stomach this.
That was one of the funniest episodes of any tv show ever. Was it Chuckie the Clown?
Aunt Jemima will live forever.
Which one?
The pallbearer will be Jimmy Carter...
ah he’s Italian too LOL. I knew he was a paisan. Ping me on Italian American stuff.
The one that used to hang out at Sambo’s. ;)
My favorite, the one from 1889.
About as smart as Dos Equis changing the most interesting man so appeal to a younger crowd.
Wow never knew that! God bless this great Italian!!!!
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