Posted on 01/08/2020 8:36:13 AM PST by sodpoodle
Four old retired men are walking down a street in Yuma , Arizona . They turn a corner and see a sign that says, "Old Timers Bar - ALL drinks 10 cents." They look at each other and then go in, thinking this is too good to be true. The old bartender says in a voice that carries across the room, "Come on in and let me pour one for you! What'll it be, gentlemen?" There's a fully stocked bar, so each of the men orders a martini. In no time the bartender serves up four iced martinis shaken, not stirred and says, "That'll be 10 cents each, please." The four guys stare at the bartender for a moment, then at each other. They can't believe their good luck. They pay the 40 cents, finish their martinis, and order another round.
Again, four excellent martinis are produced, with the bartender again saying,"That's 40 cents, please." They pay the 40 cents, but their curiosity gets the better of them. They've each had two martinis and haven't even spent a dollar yet.
Finally one of them says, "How can you afford to serve martinis as good as these for a dime apiece?" "I'm a retired tailor from Phoenix ," the bartender says, "and I always wanted to own a bar. Last year I hit the Lottery Jackpot for $125 million and decided to open this place. Every drink costs a dime. Wine, liquor, beer it's all the same."
"Wow! That's some story!" one of the men says.
As the four of them sip at their martinis, they can't help noticing seven other people at the end of the bar who don't have any drinks in front of them and haven't ordered anything the whole time they've been there.
Nodding at the seven at the end of the bar, one of the men asks the Bartender, "What's with them?"
The bartender says, "They're retired people from Florida . They're waiting for Happy Hour when drinks are half-price..."
Then I tell her...we’re retired, we don’t have to wait until the weekend anymore. It hasn’t completely sunk in yet.
—
It is odd but I sometimes miss the pleasure a three day weekend would give me. Now that I am retired every day is a free day but it is not the same. ;-)
Good one
I just retired a little over a year ago—I had no idea how stressful my job was until I stopped doing it.
Retire as soon as you can—it will add years to your life!
My wife ask me for Olympic Sex!
Once every four years!
That joke is soooooo Florida. Thanks for posting.
I’ll probably be off FR for about two months starting next Wednesday. Retirement means travel. Headed to Southeast Asia until March.
I try to do one extended foreign trip per year, sometimes two. Next is two months in India, Nepal, Tibet, Bhutan....
Last year was two months in Eastern Europe and a month in Alaska.
Retirement sure is tiring.
You can tell how old an ol’ curmudgeon is by how many pills he takes. Retired now 18 years and still grouchy !!
Very good!
Years ago, my father was a half owner of a hotel in Lake Worth, Florida. It was a snowbird operation, and the elderly guests were affectionately referred to as the “cane, crutch, and Cadillac crowd.”
Drinks were a dollar apiece at the hotel bar. He always said that the bar was the only one in the U.S. that lost money, but he said it was much more important to keep the rooms filled than making money at the bar.
A preacher was talking congregation about sex...
He asked “Those of you who have sex once a day, hold up your hand...” Most all the younger adults slowly raised their hand...
Next, “Those of you who have sex once a week, hold up your hand...” Quite a few of the middle aged folks raised their hand...
Then he asked “Those of you who have sex once a month, raise your hand...” The older ons and the remainder of the middle aged raised their hand...
Then he shook his head and asked “Those of you who have sex once a year, raise your hand...”
One old, grey haired gentleman in the back jumped up and wildly waved hand with a huge grin on his face...
The preacher asked “only once a year?? Why are you so happy???”
He answered “Tonight’s the night!!!!!”
Have a great trip ( I visited SE Asia in 1968-69, Don’t care to go back...)
Three Irishmen were arguing over which bar had the lowest price drinks.
The first Irishman proudly proclaimed that at his watering hole, drinks were $1 each.
The second interjected that they were only 50 cents at his bar.
The third Irishman said, I got you both beat. There is a bar where you drink all night for free and then you go upstairs and get laid. You pay for nothing.
The first two quickly became interested and ask, “Where is this bar?”
The third Irishman replied “I’m not sure. I’ll ask my sister as she told me about it as she goes there every Friday Night!”
No doubt. Some years back, my nephew put in a hitch for Delta down in West Palm Beach as a ticket clerk. Says one old guy sidles up to the counter, and in a low voice asks, "Whaddya got for free?"
-PJ
I buy the local pitiful rag every day for the crossword and to verify the day. Its a small town paper and its fun to note the glaring errors. A while back, I got the paper, returned home and noticed the same picture on the front page as the day before. I got a big chuckle at the paper’s stupidity.......and then noticed that the dope was me. It was a day-old paper.
Oh My!!!!
I had no idea that was your FReeper name;)
It is a good one for us old geezers - now I think I’ll sign in as
‘saggy skin’.
God bless.
“It is odd but I sometimes miss the pleasure a three day weekend would give me. Now that I am retired every day is a free day but it is not the same. ;-)”
Yeah, I loved those long weekends. But that sense of dread the last night before going back to work - I don’t miss that AT ALL.
LOL...That’s a good one...I’ve done similar things myself...
“Politicians are like a drunk that walks into a bar, sees a sign that says “All you can drink for $1”, and orders $2 worth.”
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