Posted on 12/30/2019 5:31:07 AM PST by C19fan
Universal’s “Cats” was in need of a holiday miracle. Instead, the filmmaking team behind the box office disaster got a lump of coal. Tom Hooper’s big-screen adaptation has clawed its way to $38 million globally after two weeks in theaters, a dismal figure that could result in $100 million in theatrical losses, according to rival studio executives. After its disappointing $6.5 million domestic debut ahead of Christmas, “Cats” failed to gain any traction during the busiest time of year for moviegoing. In its sophomore outing, the film was relegated to No. 9 on box office charts, scraping together $8.7 million over the five-day holiday frame. Audiences, dissuaded by brutal reviews, instead made the Jellicle choice to see Disney’s “Frozen 2,” “Spies in Disguise,” or essentially anything that didn’t involve Judi Dench, Jennifer Hudson, Taylor Swift and Idris Elba pretending to be felines.
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Taylor Swift ain’t so swift these days. She should have retired years ago and lived off royalties from her teenybopper songs instead of running her mouth over social issues.
But Cats literally has no story. There is no plot. It's just a bunch of people in cat costumes signing and dancing in a weird pseudo-feline manner and then on to the next number. Without the buzz of the times when everyone was talking about Broadway and by extension Cats, who wants to see that? Make it with weird creepy CGI cat makeup and even those few are too creeped out to bother.
Toxoplasmosis, the movie.
They’re running millions of dollars a day worth of TV ads.
Don’t pussyfooting around. Tell us how bad it was.
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